Thus I Wrote

She stands in the shade, cos the sun’s too hot
She don’t like history, she won’t be taught
She likes to buy things that are beautiful and bright
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

I’m drugged by her beauty, nature’s secret sauce
I want dessert but she’s still on the main course
She wants conversation and my latest insight
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

Her wild horses I can’t rein in
She’s always certain and she don’t do sin
I want to make her happy, but often we fight
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She lives to laugh and she revels in her time,
Her love a wide ocean and her hurt a deep mine
She’s closer to God than ever I might
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

I thought of you today
And what you used to say
Oh…how your words cut deep
About what I’ve sowed and what I’ll reap
But I will hide the signs
Below the Waterline

What is yours and what is mine?
I’ve tried to walk the right line
Between losing myself
And winning your acceptance
As angels and demons whine
Below the Waterline

What is true and what is real
Beyond what I think and what I feel?
I’ve learned to give and to take
To love and to create
And along the way I’ve saved all I find
Below the Waterline

I don’t let many people in
To share my thoughts herein
And I still can’t understand
The feelings I can’t command
And the dark chains that bind
Below the Waterline

I remember my priest tell
Of heaven and of hell
But since then I’ve lost my belief
With some regret and with some grief
It still echoes through the chambers of my mind
Below the Waterline

What is true and what is real
Beyond what I think and what I feel?
I’ve learned to give and to take
To love and to create
And along the way I’ve lived by what I find
Below the Waterline

I was alone
She had three
We came to battle
To divide and be free
I was well prepared
I knew all the law
My case was just
But with a hidden flaw

I looked from this end
To our loving start
Then a tide washed over me
And I fell apart

He took it all down
Brick by brick
Stone by stone
And stick by stick
He laid it all out
Who gave what to whom
I gave a better split
In that functional room

Because I looked from this end
To our loving start
Then a tide washed over me
And I fell apart

It died on the vine
Our joined family
Blown away by the force
Of factional uncertainty
When I held my line
And I didn’t concede
She withdrew from me
To punish my deed

I looked from this end
To our loving start
Then a tide washed over me
And I fell apart

There is a pain
Worse than a knife
It uses my head
It runs my life
It is a desert
A loneliness deep
I long for a quest
And a dreamless sleep

I looked from this end
To our loving start
Then a tide washed over me
And I fell apart

You were my first love
I didn’t know it then
I was a bundle of energy
And uncertainty when,
I kissed your face
And I wanted too much
Distracted by others
That I needed to touch.

You’re in my thoughts
I always compare
I always wonder
If I had you there
But I was uncertain
I had too much fear
That left me blind
And let no one near.

You married a man
Who gave up his life
To adore and cherish you
His life, was his wife
I could not give so
Too selfish, I guess
My tunnel vision
In your eyes made me less.

I’m a bit of a loner
Only giving so much
I don’t want to be alone
But accept it as such.
I love in my way
But am drawn to understand
The futility of why?
These cards in my hand?

I find few truths
But love is one, clear
That which we give
And those we hold dear
I’ve studied my fears
Helped by wise men
And now is there time?
For me to love again?

You are my boundary
You are my quest
You are my reason
To be my best
I compete with you
And cooperate too
But I know I’m nothing…
Nothing without you

You are the air
That I breathe in
You are the water
Caressing my skin
I know that loving you
Is all I find true
But I know I’m nothing…
Nothing without you

You are the fire
That keeps me warm
You are the earth
My protection from harm
I know your leaving me
Will be so hard to do
I know I am nothing…
Nothing without you

Can we fix this?
Or is it too late?
Is your heart too wounded
Behind your locked gate?
I try in my way
To open my heart to you
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I have walked in your shoes
To study your fears
I’ve learned from wise men
And my mistakes down the years
To sing together
I’ve often played to your tune
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I have many colours
Not just black or white
Sometimes I’ve strayed into the dark
But I strive for the light
I will forgive you
A mistake or two
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

The early seeds sown
So shaped our hearts
In that tangle grown
So shaped our start
I would not ask you
For more than you could do
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I hope you find peace
And a haven from strife
I offer you my love
To light up your life
I offer you grace
And to always be true
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

Do you want to fix this?
Or is it too late?
Is your heart too wounded
Behind your locked gate?
These words are a key
To open my heart to you
Will you do unto me
What you would have me do unto you?

I walked in your shoes
To understand your fears
I learned from mistakes
That I made down the years
To sing together
We must choose the same tune
Will you do unto me
What you would have me do unto you?

I will support you
And always be there
Be patient, be loyal
I’ll cherish and share
I’ll stop and listen
And have fun with you
Will you do unto me
What you would have me do unto you?

I’ll create peace
And protect you from strife
I’ll give you love
To light up your life
I will forgive you
For a mistake or two
Will you do unto me
What you would have me do unto you?

I’ll make you feel valued
For all that you do
And not demand more
Than you feel able to do
I’ll help you grow
And help you push through
Will you do unto me
What you would have me do unto you?

I loved your beauty
I loved your smile
I loved your heart
I loved your style
But you have a well
That needs filling up
I guess my heart
Just wasn’t big enough

I loved your humour
I loved your spirit
I loved your cooking
And the love you put in it
But you have a well
That needs filling up
I guess my heart
Just wasn’t big enough

I loved the events
That you loved to put on
I loved your good nature
And courage you call on
But you have a well
That needs filling up
I guess my heart
Just wasn’t big enough

Well, I depend
On you, my friend
Many times, we’ve stayed up drinking
Many times, we’ve shared our thoughts
But do you really know me
Do you know the thoughts I’ve got

Do you know I have a love
For everyone I know
I have a lust for life
To live and not let go
But sometimes I feel alone
Something rises up inside
It eats at my heart
And it darkens my mind

A dark demon
Stalks my dreams
(A dark demon
Stalks my dreams)
I need a love
To save me
From this dark demon…

Come, now take my hand
Together let’s make a stand
I’ll be your port
In the storm
When it’s cold
I’ll keep you warm
I hope we find peace
And love lights up our lives
And shines forever
Our saviour inside

(From…)This dark demon
Stalking our dreams
(This dark demon
Stalking our dreams)
We need a love
To save us
From this dark demon…

This is based on an earlier poem I wrote of the same name but more recently inspired by the song “I See a Darkness” by Will Oldham. The Johnny Cash cover version especially. I like the metaphor of the dark demon and of love casting out the demons as Christ did in the bible. He used love to banish fear. I have no particular allegiance to religion but the stories form a powerful backdrop to our culture and resonate with me. I see them as useful and powerful metaphors.

I’m in the cage
The cage of age
The signals I see
Are not for me
The flesh still willing
But no function fulfilling
While she flirts and pouts
She leaves nothing to doubt

Her body states
I can procreate
She dresses to show
How her body flows
With subliminal power
To strike in her hour
She flirts and pouts
She leaves nothing to doubt

So much imagery
In a democracy
To grab attention and sell
To cast a spell
It’s nature’s power
The sweet hiding sour
She flirts and pouts
She leaves nothing to doubt

So much energy
In a democracy
Wasted in control
Protecting the whole
When past the junction
When form shows declining function
She still flirts and pouts
She leaves nothing to doubt