Thus I Wrote

I know I have hurt you
I know I have shut the door
I know you have been lonely
Waiting for me, unsure
My feelings tripped me up
While reaching out to you
I’m guilty of not listening
And talking badly too…
…I want…to give you my love

Surprise me with a kiss
A public show of affection
I want you to hold my hand
Take the initiative of a connection
Use the same rules for us both
So that I am not surprised
Forgive me for my failures
And then you will be prized…
…I want you…to give me your love

The heart once hurt
Needs good memories to heal
Women seem to hurt more
Or remember it more I feel
You need a lot to heal now
And will reject and hurt in return
I will need a big heart now
To manage the hurt when it burns…
…I want…to give you my love

Our lives move to a different beat
You like Armstrong, I like Dylan
Your body’s a temple, but you love to eat
I’m always able if you’re willing

Your clothes are thrown, as you undress
Into the mess that you create
But still you manage me, and my small mess
I shouldn’t take the bait

Your heart says love and cooperation
My head says compete and succeed
You’re in pajamas for the duration
I prefer to dress for speed

You are certain – I see both sides
But you think its weak
You want to make waves, I want a smooth ride
I’m quiet when you want to speak

You see a God, You expect a next life
I get No Answers as I read
You are so calm, I easily find strife
Love must bind us indeed

Surprise me… and kiss me
Be passionate and kind
Think of me…. and miss me
Love’s the drug that binds

I raised my voice, when I should have not
I looked at you, when I thought the wrong thoughts
I drink too much, and disguised by mirth
I say the wrong things, and you get hurt
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

My glass is half empty, because I’m afraid
It makes me negative, and aloof you said
I don’t laugh enough, and I’m not much fun
I’m feeding the elephant when I should make it run
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

I hit a brick wall, then I shut you out
I wait to stop hurting, I don’t trust my mouth
I create a silence, I won’t let it go
I’m frozen by hurt, but I won’t let it show
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

I’ve drawn a battle line, between us in the sand
One of us must cross it, but I’m powerless to command
As we wait for each other, it becomes stalemate
It needs a big person, to change this state
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

My emotions, they are dark, too dark for me to read
They swirl, they rise up, when it’s calmness I need
My dark, inner child, lashes out when afraid
My wise, mature counsel, is drowned in my head
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

I sat down last night to talk to my wife
To find out the pieces that make up her life
She had a long list and she began with the first
She showed me all, in her deep well of hurt

My family’s the rock and my wife’s the hard place
They never got on, they’re not in the same place
“You never stood up”, “Or gave me support”
They’re a foundation curse, in her deep well of hurt

My career is all gone and my hair it is gray
Will this damn recession, ever go away?
I can’t find the work, to put money in the purse.
Its another major item, in her deep well of hurt

I say the wrong thing & I look the wrong way
I do get impatient when she ignores what I say
I can get frustrated or angry which is worse
Years of memories, in her deep well of hurt

Is her well too deep? my fear I can’t mask
I feel on my own, with this promethean task
The walls are so treacherous, they’re the slippery sort
Progress is painful, in her deep well of hurt

I’ve got many flaws and that I accept
But there’s two of us in this, and she’s not perfect
But I do still love her, and will do till I’m dirt
But our marriage is drowning, in her deep well of hurt.

She stands in the shade, cos the sun’s too hot
She’s bored with history, she won’t be taught
She loves to buy things, beautiful and bright
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

I’m drugged by her beauty, nature’s secret sauce
I’m focussed on dessert, she wants the main course
She wants conversation and my latest insight
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She revels in her time, she lives for a laugh
Rules are for bending and not getting caught
She argues to win whether she’s wrong or she’s right
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

I have no room, to keep her focussed in
She breaks my door down, she doesn’t do sin
I want to make her happy, but often we fight
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She’s a force of nature, I don’t understand
I love her certainty, but it gets out of hand
I use my head, she trusts her heart is right
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She’s a student of people and their intimate stories
With persistent good humour and only monthly worries
She is closer to God than ever I might
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

Her face in the moonlight, I had seen it before
A flash of a past life and now together once more
As a priestess in Egypt she was majestic and quiet
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.