Thus I Wrote

I know I have hurt you
I know I have shut the door
I know you have been lonely
Waiting for me, unsure
My feelings tripped me up
While reaching out to you
I’m guilty of not listening
And talking badly too…
…I want…to give you my love

Surprise me with a kiss
A public show of affection
I want you to hold my hand
Take the initiative of a connection
Use the same rules for us both
So that I am not surprised
Forgive me for my failures
And then you will be prized…
…I want you…to give me your love

The heart once hurt
Needs good memories to heal
Women seem to hurt more
Or remember it more I feel
You need a lot to heal now
And will reject and hurt in return
I will need a big heart now
To manage the hurt when it burns…
…I want…to give you my love

One day we’ll be too old to give

So..Let’s give to each other and get more pleasure as we live

One day we’ll be too old to listen and talk

So..Let’s cherish one another and grow through the knocks

One day we’ll be too old to forgive

So..Let’s forgive now and give ourselves more time to really live

One day we’ll be too old to laugh and have fun

So..Let’s wring the fun out of our days and laugh until we have none

One day we’ll be too old to hold hands

So..Let’s enjoy the gentle touch of our skin before the last falling of the sands

One day we’ll be too old to kiss

So..Let’s enjoy the affection we exchange before it is missed

One day we’ll be too old to have sex

So..Let’s enjoy the physical communion as if we have nothing left to expect

Our lives move to a different beat
You like Armstrong, I like Dylan
Your body’s a temple, but you love to eat
I’m always able if you’re willing

Your clothes are thrown, as you undress
Into the mess that you create
But still you manage me, and my small mess
I shouldn’t take the bait

Your heart says love and cooperation
My head says compete and succeed
You’re in pajamas for the duration
I prefer to dress for speed

You are certain – I see both sides
But you think its weak
You want to make waves, I want a smooth ride
I’m quiet when you want to speak

You see a God, You expect a next life
I get No Answers as I read
You are so calm, I easily find strife
Love must bind us indeed

Surprise me… and kiss me
Be passionate and kind
Think of me…. and miss me
Love’s the drug that binds

I raised my voice, when I should have not
I looked at you, when I thought the wrong thoughts
I drink too much, and disguised by mirth
I say the wrong things, and you get hurt
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

My glass is half empty, because I’m afraid
It makes me negative, and aloof you said
I don’t laugh enough, and I’m not much fun
I’m feeding the elephant when I should make it run
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

I hit a brick wall, then I shut you out
I wait to stop hurting, I don’t trust my mouth
I create a silence, I won’t let it go
I’m frozen by hurt, but I won’t let it show
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

I’ve drawn a battle line, between us in the sand
One of us must cross it, but I’m powerless to command
As we wait for each other, it becomes stalemate
It needs a big person, to change this state
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

My emotions, they are dark, too dark for me to read
They swirl, they rise up, when it’s calmness I need
My dark, inner child, lashes out when afraid
My wise, mature counsel, is drowned in my head
I can’t conquer myself…..I can’t conquer myself

I sat down last night to talk to my wife
To find out the pieces that make up her life
She had a long list and she began with the first
She showed me all, in her deep well of hurt

My family’s the rock and my wife’s the hard place
They never got on, they’re not in the same place
“You never stood up”, “Or gave me support”
They’re a foundation curse, in her deep well of hurt

My career is all gone and my hair it is gray
Will this damn recession, ever go away?
I can’t find the work, to put money in the purse.
Its another major item, in her deep well of hurt

I say the wrong thing & I look the wrong way
I do get impatient when she ignores what I say
I can get frustrated or angry which is worse
Years of memories, in her deep well of hurt

Is her well too deep? my fear I can’t mask
I feel on my own, with this promethean task
The walls are so treacherous, they’re the slippery sort
Progress is painful, in her deep well of hurt

I’ve got many flaws and that I accept
But there’s two of us in this, and she’s not perfect
But I do still love her, and will do till I’m dirt
But our marriage is drowning, in her deep well of hurt.

She stands in the shade, cos the sun’s too hot
She’s bored with history, she won’t be taught
She loves to buy things, beautiful and bright
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

I’m drugged by her beauty, nature’s secret sauce
I’m focussed on dessert, she wants the main course
She wants conversation and my latest insight
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She revels in her time, she lives for a laugh
Rules are for bending and not getting caught
She argues to win whether she’s wrong or she’s right
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

I have no room, to keep her focussed in
She breaks my door down, she doesn’t do sin
I want to make her happy, but often we fight
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She’s a force of nature, I don’t understand
I love her certainty, but it gets out of hand
I use my head, she trusts her heart is right
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She’s a student of people and their intimate stories
With persistent good humour and only monthly worries
She is closer to God than ever I might
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

Her face in the moonlight, I had seen it before
A flash of a past life and now together once more
As a priestess in Egypt she was majestic and quiet
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She looks to the future, but not too far ahead
The meaning of life don’t mess with her head
She has no fear of what she can see
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me

She looks to the future, she don’t look back
She wields her beauty, she knows what I lack
She calms me down, she’s the earth I feel
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me.

She looks to the future, she sees her nest
She plans the colours, she wants what’s best
She wont be tied down, she wants to be free
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me.

She looks to the future, with her feet on the ground
She’s no empty vessel to make the most sound
She’s gentle and good when her progress she sees
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me.

There’s such comfort in such certainty
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me.
Its such a tonic in an age of uncertainty
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me.

Dancin’ where the stars go blue
Dancin’ where the evening fell
Dancin’ in your wooden shoes
In a wedding gown

Dancin’ out on 7th street
Dancin’ through the underground
Dancin’ little marionette
Are you happy now?

Where do you go when you’re lonely
Where do you go when you’re blue
Where do you go when you’re lonely
I’ll follow you
When the stars go blue

Laughing with your pretty mouth
Laughing with your broken eyes
Laughing with your lover’s tongue
In a lullaby

Where do you go when you’re lonely
Where do you go when you’re blue
Where do you go when you’re lonely
I’ll follow you
When the stars go blue
The stars go blue, stars go blue

Song by Ryan Adams

Picture copyright © All rights reserved by Mikael Colville-Andersen

In your face I suddenly saw
Your anger, explosive and raw
I was hurt by every word you said
You showed me a picture, Dorian Gray

He has lived all my life with me
He worries about my survival for me,
He’s an unruly, anxious child hidden away
He’s not understood, Dorian Gray

But he hijacks me as I travel
I fight, I lash out and watch all unravel
I wonder later as I’m hurt and I pay
Where did I go wrong, Dorian Gray

Ignorance is not bliss, it hurts and it wrecks
Knowledge and understanding are necessary steps
To conquering yourself, to the end of your days
He must be managed, Dorian Gray.

I am hidden –
In my solution cave –
A provider –
An accessory –
When a couple is worn.

You are hidden –
In your well of hurt –
A wary tiger –
Ready to attack –
When my voice is torn.

And so we cling –
To the wave lashed rocks –
We cannot avoid –
An unknown world –
When our tempest is done.