Thus I Wrote

She looks to the future, but not too far ahead
The meaning of life don’t mess with her head
She’s not afraid of what she can see
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me

She looks to the future, she don’t look back
She wields her beauty and she knows what I lack
She calms me down, she’s the earth to me
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me.

She looks to the future, she sees her nest
She chooses the colours and she knows what is best
She wont be tied, she wants to be free
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me.

She looks to the future, with both feet on the ground
She’s no empty vessel making empty sounds
She’s gentle and good when her progress she sees
She knows what she wants and what she wants is me.

She stands in the shade, cos the sun’s too hot
She don’t like history, she won’t be taught
She likes to buy things that are beautiful and bright
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

I’m drugged by her beauty, nature’s secret sauce
I want dessert but she’s still on the main course
She wants conversation and my latest insight
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

Her wild horses I can’t rein in
She’s always certain and she don’t do sin
I want to make her happy, but often we fight
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

She lives to laugh and she revels in her time,
Her love a wide ocean and her hurt a deep mine
She’s closer to God than ever I might
She’s the dark in my day and the light in my night.

I thought of you today
And what you used to say
Oh…how your words cut deep
About what I’ve sowed and what I’ll reap
But I will hide the signs
Below the Waterline

What is yours and what is mine?
I’ve tried to walk the right line
Between losing myself
And winning your acceptance
As angels and demons whine
Below the Waterline

What is true and what is real
Beyond what I think and what I feel?
I’ve learned to give and to take
To love and to create
And along the way I’ve saved all I find
Below the Waterline

I don’t let many people in
To share my thoughts herein
And I still can’t understand
The feelings I can’t command
And the dark chains that bind
Below the Waterline

I remember my priest tell
Of heaven and of hell
But since then I’ve lost my belief
With some regret and with some grief
It still echoes through the chambers of my mind
Below the Waterline

What is true and what is real
Beyond what I think and what I feel?
I’ve learned to give and to take
To love and to create
And along the way I’ve lived by what I find
Below the Waterline

Released November 25, 2015

I was alone
She had three
We came to battle
To divide and be free
I was well prepared
I knew all the law
My case was just
But with a hidden flaw

I looked from this end
To our loving start
Then a tide washed over me
And I fell apart

He took it all down
Brick by brick
Stone by stone
And stick by stick
He laid it all out
Who gave what to whom
I gave a better split
In that functional room

Because I looked from this end
To our loving start
Then a tide washed over me
And I fell apart

It died on the vine
Our joined family
Blown away by the force
Of factional uncertainty
When I held my line
And I didn’t concede
She withdrew from me
To punish my deed

I looked from this end
To our loving start
Then a tide washed over me
And I fell apart

There is a pain
Worse than a knife
It uses my head
It runs my life
It is a desert
A loneliness deep
I long for a quest
And a dreamless sleep

I looked from this end
To our loving start
Then a tide washed over me
And I fell apart

I had a choice when I raised my voice
I forgot I loved you
I was in my head, Too aloof you said
I forgot I loved you

You couldn’t predict, the actions I picked
You thought I didn’t love you
We disagreed, we wouldn’t concede
You thought I didn’t love you

In the mirror I see, a change in me
Dorian Gray
In the dark I chase, the love I misplaced
Dorian Gray

I was not true, I was hidden from view
I forgot I loved you
I kept my options open, but your trust was broken
I forgot I loved you

You thought the worst, that you didn’t come first
You thought I didn’t love you
You read the signs, I didn’t know were mine
You thought I didn’t love you

In the mirror I see, a change in me
Dorian Gray
In the dark I chase, the love I misplaced
Dorian Gray

I didn’t smile, for too long a while
I forgot I loved you
I didn’t tell you all, so you built a wall’
I forgot I loved you

You cry and begin, to count all my sins
You thought I didn’t love you
You cast the last stone, you want me to atone
You thought I didn’t love you

You crossed the line, you took what was mine
I thought you didn’t love me
Your words cut deep, you said its what I reap
I thought you didn’t love me

In the mirror I see, a change in me
Dorian Gray
In the dark I chase, the love I misplaced
Dorian Gray

You were my first love
I didn’t know it then
I was a bundle of energy
And uncertainty when,
I kissed your face
And I wanted too much
Distracted by others
That I needed to touch.

You’re in my thoughts
I always compare
I always wonder
If I had you there
But I was uncertain
I had too much fear
That left me blind
And let no one near.

You married a man
Who gave up his life
To adore and cherish you
His life, was his wife
I could not give so
Too selfish, I guess
My tunnel vision
In your eyes made me less.

I’m a bit of a loner
Only giving so much
I don’t want to be alone
But accept it as such.
I love in my way
But am drawn to understand
The futility of why?
These cards in my hand?

I find few truths
But love is one, clear
That which we give
And those we hold dear
I’ve studied my fears
Helped by wise men
And now is there time?
For me to love again?

You are my boundary
You are my quest
You are my reason
To be my best
I compete with you
And cooperate too
But I know I’m nothing…
Nothing without you

You are the air
That I breathe in
You are the water
Caressing my skin
I know that loving you
Is all I find true
But I know I’m nothing…
Nothing without you

You are the fire
That keeps me warm
You are the earth
My protection from harm
I know your leaving me
Will be so hard to do
I know I am nothing…
Nothing without you

Can we fix this?
Or is it too late?
Is your heart too wounded
Behind your locked gate?
I try in my way
To open my heart to you
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I have walked in your shoes
To study your fears
I’ve learned from wise men
And my mistakes down the years
To sing together
I’ve often played to your tune
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I have many colours
Not just black or white
Sometimes I’ve strayed into the dark
But I strive for the light
I will forgive you
A mistake or two
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

The early seeds sown
So shaped our hearts
In that tangle grown
So shaped our start
I would not ask you
For more than you could do
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I hope you find peace
And a haven from strife
I offer you my love
To light up your life
I offer you grace
And to always be true
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I’m in the eye of the storm
I’m in the deadening calm
I see tomorrow’s form
I hear tomorrow’s psalm
I find I am now apart
I have no hand to hold
I’m a self aware art
A wonder to behold

In the stillness I forgive
The futility of why
The loneliness of live
The inevitability of die
I’m a drop in the ocean blue
I’m a leaf in the forest green
I miss the God I knew
I miss the love I’ve seen

I search for a reason
My soul to drive
Without hunger’s treason
I’m not fully alive
I stand on the shoulders
Of those gone before
I’m a baton holder
From past to future’s door

I bow to the collective
The secular unseen hand
The arbiter of my perspective
The creator of my commands
The connector of those giving
To those who are needing
The cutter from the living
In one cut or slowly bleeding

I was a sandman
In my desert home
I was a searching man
For a direction I roamed
I consider the lilies
As they wave in the field
They bravely ignore Achilles
They bravely trust and yield