Thus I Wrote

Maintain…
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Maintain…

There appears to be
No clear right or wrong
There is weak
& there is strong

There appears to be
No agreed perspective
Only effective
And ineffective

Some use the law
Or some wise insight
Some have to break things
To relearn it’s not right

And so boundaries
Are pushed on until
Another pushes back
With strength and will

And so lessons are learned
An agreed perspective
Over what is effective
And ineffective

You must value me
To want to spend time
We take our turn
To give in rhyme

Multiple transactions
Part of our interaction
And the credit we create
Builds the attraction

We rise some days
And others we fall
We give when we rise
We try owning our fall

If we value each other
And love enough
We can help each other
When the going gets tough

It’s difficult to close the door
To leave it all behind
The past has good memories
It’s a balm to the mind

I’ve been invisible
As I juggled their needs
I’d lost myself
Thrashing in the weeds

I must move on
And let it all go
Enjoy the future
And accept the unknown

Maybe I can fix myself
And look forward anew
I could not fix them
But I can love you

We met that evening
In the ICA cinema
We met that evening
In the ICA cinema
Your hands were so warm
My heart began to thaw

They say the darkest hour
Is right before the dawn
They say the darkest hour
Is right before the dawn
It’s been brighter since I’ve met you
Is my conclusion drawn

In the dark at the Green Note
Music floated in the air
In the dark at the Green Note
Music floated in the air
Later we kissed and travelled North
As you moved your hand through my hair

We swim in dirty water
Sometimes we feel sick
We swim in dirty water
Sometimes we feel sick
Some say we’re too sensitive
But I wouldn’t change us a bit

We travelled through London
We saw better by bus
We travelled through London
We saw better by bus
On to Brick Lane graffiti
I love many things about us

You’re in a black mantilla by my grave
In the black dress bought from money you’ve saved
You’re in black sunglasses dropping tears
You’re oblivious to quizzical glances here

Now throw in your red rose
To finish your design
And I’ll love you forever
…In the memories I’ve left behind
And I’ll love you forever
…In the memories I’ve left behind

You’re in a straw hat, as the waves they pass
You’re drinking Rosado, from a beaded glass
You’re in black sunglasses, hiding your fears
You’re oblivious to admiring, glances here

And the breeze it carries the sun
As the boats, begin to dance
As the stars align, one more time
…You have one more chance
As the stars align one more time
…You have one more chance

We acquire knowledge,
And we pass it on down the line
And we do what we can
As we pass through time

And even with our backs against the wall
There’s still hope for us today
We have no answers
But we still have stuff that we can say
And I know we have no answers
But we still have stuff that we can say

We love each other
With our beautiful fractured hearts
We need something to hold onto
We need someone’s hand to grasp

Worries about trust
Are you seeing someone?
Rationally I said no
But instinctively I said run

I said I gotta go
You were stunned you began
But then you angrily said
You must be loco…man

I’m not loco
I’m not loco
Just an ordinary
Ordinary…man

Worries about trust
Accusation and doubt
You got a problem now
You wanna change me about

Sometimes, I stumble
Sometimes, into the dark
Sometimes, I handle it
Sometimes, it leaves a mark

I’m not loco
I’m not loco
Just an ordinary
Ordinary…man

Actions speak much louder
Given with the right intention
Instead of chameleon words
Hidden with clever invention

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

“Don’t hate me” you strangely said
But it’s something I never do
I’ve called you out as wrong
That’s all I think of you

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

You can survive as a chameleon
But you’ll leave much undone
You gotta stand out with respect
When you wanna get some

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

Well the parting was disjointed
And of an apparent selfish design
Was it just a clumsy mistake?
Or something more planned and malign?
The magic left like a light going out
Like air from a hissing balloon
The barriers came crashing down
Rushing the warmth from the room

I was made redundant
My services not now required
This was a crash landing
Ice emerged from the fire
Such breathless, ruthless action
No time even to think
A sword taken to the chain
It cut straight through the link

Later when I resurfaced
After gut wrenching days
“Keep good memories of us”
“Don’t hate me”, she says
Her actions had spoken louder
They didn’t care what I thought
Was a dishonest bow-tied closure?
Now really what she sought?

“Oh, integrity’s important to me,
I don’t want you to feel used”
(Accepting no responsibility
But implying my feelings are confused)
I can forgive of course
But only with explicit request
And only with some recognition
That growth and change are a quest

Nothing can protect me now
Cos everything must change and end
But there are more loving ways
Of leaving the party at the bend
Something nags at her inside
Maybe it’s the karma that she’s won?
Somewhere she needs approval
Something’s yet unfinished and undone

I awoke and I rose above
The detritus of the night
Half-remembered dreams
In the anxious half-light
I heard silent whispers
In the candlelight as they fed
And I saw the forgotten many
In the mansions of the dead

I watched her as she talked
And I saw her emotions flicker
I thought and I wondered why?
Do her angels and demons bicker?
I saw a cloud of sadness float by
I wondered what does it teach?
What hand is on her shoulder?
And from where does it reach?

In the night I feel her
Breathing love and affection
And her legs they wrap around mine
Is she seeking my protection
My prayers are like incense
They rise quietly above her head
As she searches for the answers
In the mansions of the dead