Thus I Wrote

I’d no safety net
No guiding light
A feeling of disconnection
The need to fight

Unprocessed feelings
Didn’t know how
Humour and anger
Am I better now?

I got up, I got out
Only way I could
One rung at a time
Fire and blood

Waited for change
A new tech wave
Everything I had
Everything I gave

No inheritance
No history
Move fast & bury
My anxiety & my worry

Never knew myself
Difficult to say
Lost relationships
Along the way

Life is the journey
Not the end
Now what’s next
Around the bend?

It’s difficult to close the door
To leave it all behind
The past has good memories
It’s a balm to the mind

I’ve been invisible
As I juggled their needs
I’d lost myself
Thrashing in the weeds

I must move on
And let it all go
Enjoy the future
And accept the unknown

Maybe I can fix myself
And look forward anew
I could not fix them
But I can love you

There is no agreed meaning to life…
There is a void.

There is no agreed measure
No agreed target
No agreed acceptable end…
There is a void.

It is left to us
To create our own meaning…
To try to fill the void.

The pursuit of growth
Of wealth, of power
Became a dominant meaning
Within our culture.
Those who have want more
Those who have not aspire…
To try to fill the void.

Over millennia, humankind evolved
To cover the earth
Until certain European countries
Acquired power & wealth
By colonisation of peoples
By breaking their resistance
Through efficient
Killing from a distance…
To try to fill the void.

Religion and science were used by the powerful
To enable and justify the genocide.
Laws were created to control the weak
Whilst the powerful lied
To grow and maintain their privilege
And so the wealth of other civilisations was pillaged…
To try to fill the void.

To colonise the rest of America
American colonists went on
Through genocide and theft
Of the indigenous population.
So also in Africa
So also in Australia…
All trying to fill the void.

In the 20th century WW1, WW2,
Some recognition of what was lost
Lions led by donkeys
Hiroshima & the Holocaust,
Trying to fill the void.

From a distance,
Living standards have increased
Humanity has evolved
Violence has decreased
But dark actions of the past are hiding
Under the veil of progress.
Were those civilisations given a choice?
In how we reached such progress?
Could we have chosen a different path
To reach such progress?
Did they share equally
In the benefits of such progress?
All countries, peoples and tribes
Want the freedom to choose
Their own unique way
To fill the void.

Those once persecuted
May persecute in time
See the Middle East
Israel & Palestine
We humans have good
But also bad inside
We must find better ways
To fill the void.

Is it all just
Communication now?
Is it all just
A soundbite now?
Put lipstick on a pig
and present it as a cow?

Is it all for one
To win the game now?
Is it all for one
To win the league now?
While those for all
Don’t reap what they sow?

Would society succeed
If we did not care?
Would society succeed
If we did not share?
Do enough people
consider it fair?

I believed the best ideas should win
The best people should be ruling
But they don’t want change

I listen to them, I try to talk to them
But it’s only lies or jokes from them
Cos they don’t want change

They distract with Nationalism
They abuse with Patriotism
‘Cos they don’t want change

They multiply culture wars
To divide into different parts
For subtraction & distraction
Cos they don’t want change

Free assembly suppression
Free speech oppression
Slogans with lies
And speeches with noise
They don’t want change

They hide their power
Add money by the hour
Hold statues of wealth
Above equality & health
They don’t want change

Gotta fight power
Gotta take power
Gotta win power
This world must change

On a wild horse
Not broken yet
I’m thrown about
Holding on yet
No purpose, stuck
Magnified
No direction, stuck
Can’t ride

In the darkness
From the deep they rise
I see the ghosts
I hear their cries
Then I hold your hand
I see your smiles
I hear the ocean
I see the sun rise

We met that evening
In the ICA cinema
We met that evening
In the ICA cinema
Your hands were so warm
My heart began to thaw

They say the darkest hour
Is right before the dawn
They say the darkest hour
Is right before the dawn
It’s been brighter since I’ve met you
Is my conclusion drawn

In the dark at the Green Note
Music floated in the air
In the dark at the Green Note
Music floated in the air
Later we kissed and travelled North
As you moved your hand through my hair

We swim in dirty water
Sometimes we feel sick
We swim in dirty water
Sometimes we feel sick
Some say we’re too sensitive
But I wouldn’t change us a bit

We travelled through London
We saw better by bus
We travelled through London
We saw better by bus
On to Brick Lane graffiti
I love many things about us

Worries about trust
Are you seeing someone?
Rationally I said no
But instinctively I said run

I said I gotta go
You were stunned you began
But then you angrily said
You must be loco…man

I’m not loco
I’m not loco
Just an ordinary
Ordinary…man

Worries about trust
Accusation and doubt
You got a problem now
You wanna change me about

Sometimes, I stumble
Sometimes, into the dark
Sometimes, I handle it
Sometimes, it leaves a mark

I’m not loco
I’m not loco
Just an ordinary
Ordinary…man

Actions speak much louder
Given with the right intention
Instead of chameleon words
Hidden with clever invention

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

“Don’t hate me” you strangely said
But it’s something I never do
I’ve called you out as wrong
That’s all I think of you

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

You can survive as a chameleon
But you’ll leave much undone
You gotta stand out with respect
When you wanna get some

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

I don’t like being weighed
And measured
And judged
And found wanting again
I don’t like the visceral pain
Of rejection
I’m not right
I’m not good enough again

But equally I don’t like weighing
And measuring
And judging
And finding her wanting again
I don’t like the visceral pain
Of rejection
And her not feeling right
And her feeling not good enough again

In the middle of it all
A light
A warmth
I experienced on my way
She turned and said
In a bar somewhere
I get you
I understand all you feel and say