Thus I Wrote

She has no filter
She thinks something,
And then she just says it.
I consider the options
The plus and minus then,
The moment is lost with it.

There’s a time to filter
And then there is,
A time to let the world know.
Trust is built on
Knowing how to predict,
Where the other will go.

If I calculate
Or I prevaricate,
I create distance and fear.
Sometimes it’s better
To say what you feel,
To allow your loved ones near.

I must clear my mind
Of the clutter and distance,
And the blockage in our way.
I’ve a deep well of love
But they must know it,
In small ways every day.

I am in heaven
And the place is very strange
And compared to life on earth
There is a lot of change

There is no competition
There is no fight to survive
There is no need to procreate
To keep the species alive

There is no give and take
And no tasks to fullfil
And no bonding together
Through experience and skill

There are no seasons
And there is no change
No birth, marriage or death
No ceremonies to arrange

There is no need to eat
Or to drink some fine wine
There is no love or hate
And all our thoughts align

There are no worries
Although God needs to be adored
All that I remember as a human
Is gone and, frankly, I’m bored.

I’ve hung no albatross
Round their necks,
For my bar is not set high.
But there’s a fear
That drives me,
To do more before I die.

Why do I wish for?
To have given more?
And is it just a selfish desire?
Am I searching for meaning
In my scuttling life
With some fuel for a dying fire?

I’ve walked by gravestones
And park benches,
And their names they called to me.
I’m saddened by whispers
Of their futile wishes,
For immortality.

Shall I lay myself humbly?
On my cross?
And serve all the needs in my way?
Such deeds may not be
Remembered in stone
But will help somebody here today

I am Lazarus!
Drowzy and dazed
I am buried
Will I be raised?

I am Lazarus!
In my tomb so tight
In the darkness
Who will be my light?

I am Lazarus!
Lonely and forgotten
I smell of death
Redundant and rotten

I am Lazarus!
Weighed down by pride
Too full of fear
To let anyone inside

I am Lazarus!
Is your love enough?
To be my saviour
And raise me up?

I am Lazarus!
Praying for redemption
Praying for a purpose
To lever my ascension

I am Lazarus!
Someone opens my tomb
“Now raise yourself,
From your second womb”

She looked like she was lost
As she waved them down in Kings Cross
She told them the cost
And haggled for five minutes at most
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

She said “Yes” with tears in her eyes
He thought he had won such a prize
She thought “He’s handsome” and “He’s wise”
He forgot all between her thighs
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

“Mr President, We must provide aid,
Otherwise our economy will fade,
And damage all the plans we’ve laid
Because of all the goods we trade”
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

He committed no crimes at all
He lived in a house with four walls
“Do unto others…”, he obeyed the call
He feared that otherwise society would fall
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

I spent most of my life in denial
I just lived in the moment while
Every minute of every day
I just lived and squeezed and made it pay
Because just like a red rose
I was built for a purpose

But often I rage and fight
Against the dying of the light
When I raise my eyes
When I look and realise
That beyond our sight
Is the darkness of the night

I have looked again and again
For someone with power to bargain
Someone to answer why
We live and why we die
But no-one heard my tune
I was howling at the moon

Sometimes I’m depressed and sad
When I think my future’s bad
When I feel that I’m alone
With nothing to offer anyone
But I won’t drink to forget
Or brush it under the carpet

Because it is a natural process
From which we can’t digress
And the final part is to accept
That nobody can escape death
So burn each day more bright
Until the dying of the light

I cannot cross the big divide
That stretches between our souls
I can’t get your attention
With all the distractions and different roles
This is my life, and I feel disconnected
No one is affected
By the statues I’ve erected
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

It’s not about love and it’s not about sex
(But I won’t say no if they come along)
I leave this island and sail on the sea
To give something good that lets me belong
I work hard to create something of value
But everything I do
I find there’s a queue
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

I’m singing on stage and I’m working hard
The song is one they can sing along
I get to the chorus and hope for release
But we don’t connect and it goes all wrong
They sound out of sync and sound out of tune
My words are strewn
And howled at the moon
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

The sands are falling and it gets less easy
The world it demands something new
The pressure is mounting and I feel queasy
I’m listening but I don’t know what to do
From the everyday experience that the world views
It will sift & choose
Who will win &  lose
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

“Meaningless, Meaningless…All is Meaningless”.

Generations come, and generations go
We ask why, but we do not know
What has been, will again be done
For there is nothing, new under the sun

Like chasing the wind, how hard we run
But still there’s nothing, gained under the sun
The rich and the poor, the foolish and the wise
Live but their day, and then each dies

The earth it turns, and the seasons bring
A time for everyone, and a time for everything
To the wise a pattern, awaits to be found
Beneath the changing waves, and the changing ground

A live dog is better, than a regal dead lion
Enjoy life and grow talents, that you can rely on
For while there’s life, there’s hope in your heart
Once dead you’ll never, ever again play a part

Do not be diverted, do not be deceived
Do not be indifferent, to the gift you’ve received
Do not be afraid & waste, your day to burn bright
But burn all the brighter, because you know the night

Generations come & go, but the earth remains
The sun also rises, & falls to rise again

“Love, Love…All is Love.”

I left you sleeping
In the Chelsea Hotel
“A change is gonna come”
I heard the wind tell

I sailed a dark ocean
On a rising swell
To finish my quest
Before the wind fell

I fought for treasure
To win love & respect
But it damaged my heart
More than you expect

The wind it changed
And I was cast aside
We lost each other
As our love died

Generations come and go
But the earth still remains
The sun also rises
And falls to rise again

I hear you shot a man in Reno
Just to watch him die
I just want to know Johnny
Why did you do it, why?

Was it your broken heart?
Was it the drugs and alcohol?
Was it writer’s block?
That caused so big a fall

I wear my sackcloth
And lash myself to atone
I am holier than thou
Did you feel my first stone

There’s an empty space
In the middle of my soul
That I fill by finding
A superior punitive role

Johnny, you make me forget
All the sins in my life
By helping me stand tall
On the pillar of your strife