Thus I Wrote

I cannot cross the big divide
That stretches between our souls
I can’t get your attention
With all the distractions and different roles
This is my life, and I feel disconnected
No one is affected
By the statues I’ve erected
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

It’s not about love and it’s not about sex
(But I won’t say no if they come along)
I leave this island and sail on the sea
To give something good that lets me belong
I work hard to create something of value
But everything I do
I find there’s a queue
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

I’m singing on stage and I’m working hard
The song is one they can sing along
I get to the chorus and hope for release
But we don’t connect and it goes all wrong
They sound out of sync and sound out of tune
My words are strewn
And howled at the moon
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

The sands are falling and it gets less easy
The world it demands something new
The pressure is mounting and I feel queasy
I’m listening but I don’t know what to do
From the everyday experience that the world views
It will sift & choose
Who will win &  lose
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

“Meaningless, Meaningless…All is Meaningless”.

Generations come, and generations go
We ask why, but we do not know
What has been, will again be done
For there is nothing, new under the sun

Like chasing the wind, how hard we run
But still there’s nothing, gained under the sun
The rich and the poor, the foolish and the wise
Live but their day, and then each dies

The earth it turns, and the seasons bring
A time for everyone, and a time for everything
To the wise a pattern, awaits to be found
Beneath the changing waves, and the changing ground

A live dog is better, than a regal dead lion
Enjoy life and grow talents, that you can rely on
For while there’s life, there’s hope in your heart
Once dead you’ll never, ever again play a part

Do not be diverted, do not be deceived
Do not be indifferent, to the gift you’ve received
Do not be afraid & waste, your day to burn bright
But burn all the brighter, because you know the night

Generations come & go, but the earth remains
The sun also rises, & falls to rise again

“Love, Love…All is Love.”

Let us go then you and I
With the evening spread out against the sky
Let us go, through the certain half deserted streets
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster shells
Oh do not ask “What is it?”
Let us go and make our visit

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo

There will be time, there will be time
Beyond the fog that slides along the street
To prepare a face for the faces that we meet
Time for you and time for me
Before the taking of toast and tea
For a hundred indecisions
For a hundred visions and revisions

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo

Time to wonder:”Do I dare?” and “Do I dare?”
Time to turn back and descend the stair
Do I dare, disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

Because I have known them already, known them all
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons
Heard their voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas

Would it have been worth it, after all
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me
Would it have been worth while?
To have bitten off the matter with a smile
To say: ” I am Lazarus, come from the dead”
If one, settling a pillow by her head
Should say: “That is not what I meant at all,
That is not it at all.”

I grow old…I grow old
I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled

Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?
I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach
I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

I do not think they will sing to me.

I have seen them riding seaward on the waves
Combing the white hair of the waves blown back
When the wind blows the water white and black

We have lingered in the chambers of the sea
By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown
Till human voices wake us and we drown.

Immigrants arrive
And women have new roles
Rules change as midwives
For a new evolving whole

I see factions fight
To invade my space
I feel claustrophobhic
Trying to keep my place

I feel more uncertain
And fearful of my fate
The world is changing
But that’s a natural state

And I have come to trust
That the invisible hand,
Of consensus in this world
Knows better than I understand

I spend a lot of time
Inside my head
Trying to find if the future
Has a golden thread

I am sensitive
I get hurt a lot
But I say many things
When I should have not

Sometimes like a bad car
I drive all over the place
But its seems the only way
That I can find my space

But I discovered no more faults
Than others show
And I discovered no less virtues
Than others know

I learned of fear and pain
Are my companions in my growth
And to look them in the eye
And stare them down both

I’m on a winding road
With no diversion or distraction
With no sex, drugs or alcohol
To replace effective action

And every day a crossroads
A chance to start again
And yet another chance
To ‘suck it up’ again

🙂

We want to feel we matter
To connect and serve with feeling
As we run up that hill
Looking for a meaning

How do we know we exist?
How do we know we’re alive?
How many people do we need to tell us
Before we accept we have arrived?

We’re together in this room
But only some can see the elephant
In the truth of everyday experience
We compete to be relevant

There are 14 Billion years before us
And we get 80 years or so
We stutter briefly on the stage
We flicker briefly and then we go

Wise men have worked to show us
We are leaves in the forest green
On our own we have little significance
In the playing of life’s great scene

We’re together in this room
But only some can see the elephant
In the truth of everyday experience
We compete to be relevant

Some ignorance may be a virtue
That many find unexpected
The truth is in life’s experience
And not in its meaning dissected

In the end our focus shifts
To those we love and what we’re giving
And while we’ve something to share
There’s still a relevance to our living

We’re together in this room
But only some can see the elephant
In the truth of everyday experience
While we share, we are relevant

Inspired by the Birdman film

Little Cancer
I’ve got my eye on you
You’ve got big ideas
What’re you gonna do?

Little Cancer
You killed 12 today
All that hurt & pain now
What’re you trying to say?

You can’t live all on your own
You will die before you are grown

Little Cancer,
You’ve taken drugs since birth
And to feed your habit
You must scorch the earth

Little Cancer
We cannot fear you
You’re black with hate now
Can we ever reach you?

You can’t live all on your own
You will die before you are grown

Little Cancer
We will unite to defend
Our right to speak and
Our right to grow & blend

Little Cancer
You may have killed a part
But we hold hands together
To feed the light in our hearts

You can’t live all on your own
You will die before you are grown

I hear the rain fall
I see the cloudy moon
Will I ever love again?

I see you call
Across a crowded room
Will i ever love again?

But who am I?
And what can I give?
Will I ever love again?

Who will hear my cry
“I need your love to live”?
Will I ever love again?

Will I ever love again,
Oh no, not I
Will I ever love again?
Oh no, not I
I’m on my own
From the seeds I’ve sown
Will I ever love again?

I see a dark ocean swell
Below a raging nimbus sky
Will I ever love again?

Will I ever love again,
Oh no, not I
Will I ever love again?
Oh no, not I
I’m on my own
From the seeds I’ve sown
Will I ever love again?

And so it came to pass
We had lunch, God and me
The conversation began to flow
As we relaxed over coffee

God then stroked his beard
And he waited with good grace
As I struggled with my question
He looked kindly on my face

So why are we here?
The human race, I clarified
He thought and stirred his coffee,
Cleared his throat and then replied.

I created this Universe
14 billion years ago
I created all the laws
But how it ends I do not know

The truth is in experience
And in competition’s push
In sharing and connecting
In creating and love’s rush

God then stroked his beard
And he waited with good grace
As I struggled with my question
He looked kindly on my face

So why create this Universe?
Or others, I clarified
He thought and stirred his coffee
Cleared his throat and then replied.

To create independent life
And have someone to share
There is a lot of space
To have no one else there.

We are all connected
And all part of the same
In a circle that goes round
In an endless game

God then stroked his beard
And he waited with good grace
As I struggled with my question
He looked kindly on my face

I boarded the plane early
In the Stockholm snow
I flew the blue sky
To our London home
I wanted to tell you
About the contract I’d finally signed
I thought we’d turned a corner
I thought we’d left our money worries behind

I came to our door
And I knew something was wrong
The door it wouldn’t open
Because you’d left the chain still on
Our kids were downstairs
They were watching TV
You said you’d never planned
This way to tell me

We must pick our moment
When the writing’s on the wall
We must pick our moment
While it’s still ours to call
The party will go on
But we’ll leave it at the bend
Because everything must change
And everything must end

The sea was a deep blue
On Sardinia’s sandy shore
And in a green leafy shade
We ordered and we ate some more
We held hands and laughed
As they joked again
Oh…We were confident
We were beautiful then

We must pick our moment
When the writing’s on the wall
We must pick our moment
While it’s still ours to call
The party will go on
But we’ll leave it at the bend
Because everything must change
And everything must end