Thus I Wrote

This is the end
You said it’s over
We can still be friends
But never again lovers

I know..the seasons will turn without me
I know..the rain will fall without me
I know..the sun will rise without me
I know..the leaves will fall without me
I know..the flowers will grow without me
I know..rivers will flow without me

You said with tears
That it’s better we part
That over the years
I broke your heart

I know..you will wake without me
I know.. you will cook without me
I know..you will cry without me
I know.. you will  laugh without me
I know.. you will have fun without me
I know..you will celebrate without me

You want to move on
You can see a new life
You have now grown
Beyond being my wife

I know..you will have a new home without me
I know ..you will dress without me
I know..you will look good without me
I know..you will sleep without me
I know..you will have new friends without me
I know..you will love again without me

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to give
So..Let’s give to each other
And help us better the life we live

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to listen and talk
So..Let’s cherish one another
And help each other grow through the knocks

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to forgive
So..Let’s forgive now
So we can be released to fully live

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to laugh and have fun
So..Let’s wring the fun out of our days
And laugh until we have none

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to hold hands
So..Let’s enjoy our gentle touch
And enjoy our simple pleasures while we can

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to kiss
So..Let’s enjoy our affection
So our best days have not been missed

We spoke last night
I said “I’m sorry,
I can make it right,
You should not worry”

But was it too little?
Was it too late?
Has the hurt horse long gone
Through that broken gate

Does a broken heart
Ever really mend?
Does the buried hurt
Haunt us till the end?

Is it too little?
Is it too late?
Has the hurt horse long gone
Through that broken gate?

True love it shines
Our lives to bless
To create and design
Needs forgiveness?

Is it too little?
Is it too late?
Has the hurt horse long gone
Through that broken gate?

They say you reap
Just what you sowed
You get what you deserve
You get what you are owed

So is it too little?
Is it too late?
Has the hurt horse long gone
Through that broken gate?

Picture: The Conversation by Piotr Antonow

I hear you curse me
As I’m half asleep
The dish washer
Is loaded wrong again
Its beyond an answer
Or an argument

I hear you complain
That I’m not doing enough
That drip drip feed
Of wounding failure
Showing no edge or end
To what you expect of me
I’m overwhelmed
By the bottomless pit
Of your expectation

The picture has been painted
It’s a fixture now
Its my Dorian Grey
And its strangling me.
Its not me
Its just me in a bad light

We used to talk for hours
But not any more
To much blame and hurt
Strangle the words at birth
Perceived rejection
Is a poison
That grows in the dark
Strangling relationships

But I know….
You reap what you sow…

Her red ruby lips
Her hair a lustrous brown
The way she moved her hips
Messed my head around
I forgot all the rules
When I swam in her swimming pool

On a night of stars
We looked in our eyes
We kissed and saw far
Beyond common lies
We were hot & the night was cool
When I swam in her swimming pool

I wanted more
She did not resist
She began to moan
And strain and twist
Her body tingled to my rule
When I swam in her swimming pool

Our quest was nature’s treasure
We duelled without swords
We valued without measure
We spoke without words
The look in her face was the fuel
When I swam in her swimming pool

It rained & it poured
I was washed anew
We played sacred chords
Heard only by a few.
It was mother nature’s school
When I swam in her swimming pool

In the aftermath sure
Her body moonlight shone
Her face majestic pure
And peace had silently come
A loving tenderness ensued
When I swam in her swimming pool

The fruits of our dating
In that room of waiting
In that room of life and death
The bed was bloody red
Where she had bloody bled
And this was where we first met

Fighting contractions
And wired inaction
She fought till tired and worn
In that lonely room
In our own cocoon
From bleeding flesh they were torn

In the silent peace
Of the aftermath release
She was too exhausted to respond
My child explored
While I adored
And we formed an unbreakable bond

I tried to be strong
As I went along
But was guilty of many thoughtless sins
But I hope my love is the base
That gives them the grace
To be happy in their own skins

Economically they strive
But as people they thrive
And I am proud of their success
They are my lifelong joy
And the love I employ
Is a constant in my happiness

I remember her when
Her hair was a lustrous brown
She wore shorts then
To a rhythm with no sound
She had captured my heart
But my head rebelled
We were together apart
But I was compelled
I forgot all the rules
When I swam
In her swimming pool

We parked the car
We looked in our eyes
We kissed and saw far
Beyond common lies
I could hear us breathe
I heard my blood race
Would she follow my lead?
Was there was a look in her face
I pushed for more
She did not resist
She began to moan
And strain and twist
She tingled to my rule
As I swam
In her swimming pool

It rained & it poured
I was washed anew
We played sacred chords
Heard only by a few.
I was crystal sure
Her body moonlight shone
Her lines majestic pure
Peace had silently come
A power was mine
An incredible power
To control for a time
My sun and her flower
A symphony of pleasure
We duelled with no swords
We valued with no measure
We spoke with no words
It was earthy mother nature’s school
When I swam
In her swimming pool

I explain to her as we sit
But it’s to no avail
She says she does not get it
And so again I fail
I’m sitting close beside her
Where she’s going nobody knows
She’s a car with no driver
She just goes where she goes

She carefully picks her target
Then closes her eyes and goes
It may be a family event
Or perhaps it’s some new clothes
Chocolate she comes alive for
And jewellery it’s the money she blows
She’s a car with no driver
She just goes where she goes

Her fuel is kindness and love
An angry word will make her stop
She’s sensitive and difficult to move
And her maintenance can be over the top
I’m at peace when I’m inside her
I don’t get in that often I know
She’s a car with no driver
She just goes where she goes

Sometimes I feel like losing myself
And giving my all to her cause
But I’m afraid that in losing myself
I’ll be breaking all of my laws
Will I be nothing beside her?
Who nobody sees or knows?
While she’s a car with no driver
She just goes where she goes

I feel inadequate mostly
What I provide is not enough
My mistakes can prove costly
With conversations hurtful and rough
But in my heart I chose to inscribe her
She’s my greatest challenge I know
She’s a car with no driver
She just goes where she goes

She woke up tired
She did not sleep well
She has been through ice and fire
Many times I could tell
She looks in the mirror
At a stranger as she speaks
Everyday I should kiss her
Before she goes to sleep

She is always in a hurry
And is often late
Her face it shows her worry
Will she miss her date?
Although she’s hot and bothered
There’s a serenity she keeps
Everyday I should kiss her
Before she goes to sleep

I sometimes watch her
As she moves and talks
Her beauty has not left her
Especially when she laughs
A lust for life moves her
She hungers for the love she seeks
Everyday I should kiss her
Before she goes to sleep

She is sometimes angry
Over something that I’ve done
I may think it’s silly
And not noticed that it’s wrong
She demands an answer
And sometimes she cuts deep
Everyday I should kiss her
Before she goes to sleep

She talks of angels and grace
But can stir the devil in me
I’m in a difficult race
To match her certainty
Her dogma can be a spur
To create silence for a week
But everyday I should kiss her
Before she goes to sleep

She’s a flower that can bloom
In the fertile earth
She will blossom I assume
When cherished for her worth
Such a love will release her
And in return, her love I’ll reap
Everyday I should kiss her
Before she goes to sleep

The lines are all drawn
And positions taken
It’s arguments at dawn
And we are forsaken
I think about giving and taking
And how she takes too much
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Will our differences exchange
For the complement we seek?
I know love requires change
And turning the other cheek
Will she do some kneeling?
And her share of the rough?
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Why do we seek control?
Is it a security thing?
We could destroy the whole
Of what we’re trying to win
A lost battle has me reeling
Did I shoot the wrong stuff?
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

So give of your love
And it shall be given to you
It’s more blessed to give
Than to receive it too
Such a love sounds healing
And ours a childish bluff
I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Picture: Bella by Lucien Freud