Thus I Wrote

I saw my father
In the mirror today
And I said yesterday
What he might say
I wear a black hat
To hide my grey hair
As I run too fast
From a life not fair

It is what it is
But what does it mean?
I’m an ignorant part
Of a greater machine
I can see the end coming
I’ll try not to stare
As I run too fast
From a life not fair

I held someone’s hand
And I made someone smile
I forgot where I was going
At least for a while
It’s good to feel needed
To have someone who cares
As I run too fast
From a life not fair

We’re in this together
So I’m not unique
It’s not a favour
Or an advantage I seek
I know we’re all alone
If we have nothing to share
As we run too fast
From a life not fair

But we are so blessed
To be here alive
Somehow chosen
From that great formless void
Free to choose our purpose
Without fear if we dare
As we run too fast
From a life not fair

I held someone’s hand
And I made someone smile
I forgot where I was going
At least for a while
It’s good to feel needed
To have someone who cares
As I run too fast
From a life not fair

I see ghosts of late
From the scenes I’ve played
The haunting of familiar faces
In familiar places

I see ghosts of late
In the well of my emotional state
The pricking of past emotion
The memories of past devotion

I see ghosts of late
From the loving relationships I’ve made
From mother and father
From sons and daughters
From wives and lovers
From sisters and brothers
And from the friends who stayed
I see ghosts of late

I see ghosts of late
Whispering of changes, they portray
The waves that rise and fall
The victories big and small
The turning of the earth
The renewal of life and death
And all that shaped my fate
I see ghosts of late

I see ghosts of late
Part of the man I’ve made
They don’t go they wait
They’re with me till that silent gate….

 

I told a joke
And it was misunderstood
I didn’t play the social games
Like many others could
I thought of the future
And I weighed it all in my head
But I left much undone
And I left much unsaid

I pushed the world
And the world it punched back
It cycled and it swirled
And it went from white to black
I bow to the collective
To the secular unseen hand
To the arbiter of who’s effective
Of who falls and who stands

I drew an eight
When I needed a Jack
But I’ll play the hand I’m dealt
Cos there’s no use looking back

I asked why
But no answer came
So I studied wise men
But the answer was still the same
I’m a leaf in the forest green
I’m a drop in the ocean blue
But I miss the love I’ve seen
And I miss the God I knew

How did we find
Ourselves on different sides?
What started as a join
Became a chasm wide
I wish that I could hold you
Like when our love was new
But our demands they were too many
And our gifts they were too few

I drew an eight
When I needed a Jack
But I’ll play the hand I’m dealt
Cos there’s no use looking back

You move over shimmering waters,
You see your face in the deep
You create and you hope
That you’ll find what you seek

And you dig deep in the earth,
Its all sticky, wet and black.
Ah..you’re soaked by the rain,
But you don’t turn back.

You see your love measured out,
Into fine, crystal glasses.
And handed out anxiously,
To the next person who passes.

You see the sun rise
You see it fall to the earth again
You see the leaves grow and die
In a forest that still remains

Oh..dream is all you seem to do
You hope for tomorrow
Because today just won’t do
Oh..dream is all you seem to do
You search for beauty
And a love that is true.

You see a baby born,
All crying and bloody red.
You see his mother sleeping
Her hair matted in her bed.

And you hear a trumpet call,
At dawn on a lonely hill.
And you see a lion tear
Into its captured kill.

Oh..dream is all you seem to do
You hope for tomorrow
Because today just won’t do
Oh..dream is all you seem to do
You search for beauty
And a love that is true

I boarded the plane early
In the Stockholm snow
I flew the blue sky
To our London home
I wanted to tell you
About the contract I’d finally signed
I thought we’d turned a corner
I thought we’d left our money worries behind

I came to our door
And I knew something was wrong
The door it wouldn’t open
Because you’d left the chain still on
Our kids were downstairs
They were watching TV
You said you’d never planned
This way to tell me

We must pick our moment
When the writing’s on the wall
We must pick our moment
While it’s still ours to call
The party will go on
But we’ll leave it at the bend
Because everything must change
And everything must end

The sea was a deep blue
On Sardinia’s sandy shore
And in a green leafy shade
We ordered and we ate some more
We held hands and laughed
As they joked again
Oh…We were confident
We were beautiful then

We must pick our moment
When the writing’s on the wall
We must pick our moment
While it’s still ours to call
The party will go on
But we’ll leave it at the bend
Because everything must change
And everything must end

Released November 23, 2015

I caught a butterfly
In the summer sun
The trust was high
That no hurt be done
But now there’s no butterfly
In the winter sun
The trust has died
And the damage done

The wheels of life
Do grind and turn
Fuelled by fires
That heat and burn
But things get crushed
And things get lost
And fragile beauty pushed
To pay the cost

Once we heard the dawn sing in tune
We swam the sun-drenched sea in June
Chased laughing children in the park
And caressed by candlelight in the dark

Our pasts pulled
Our fractures wide
Our hearts hardened
Over the hurt inside
But now we’re adrift
A dark ocean swell
And loved features shift
Into a distance shell

Once we heard the dawn sing in tune
We swam the sun-drenched sea in June
Chased laughing children in the park
And caressed by candlelight in the dark

Her red ruby lips
Her hair a lustrous brown
The way she moved her hips
Messed my head around
I forgot all the rules
When I swam in her swimming pool

On a night of stars
We looked in our eyes
We kissed and saw far
Beyond common lies
We were hot & the night was cool
When I swam in her swimming pool

I wanted more
She did not resist
She began to moan
And strain and twist
Her body tingled to my rule
When I swam in her swimming pool

Our quest was treasure
We duelled without swords
We valued without measure
We spoke without words
The look in her face was the fuel
When I swam in her swimming pool

It rained & it poured
I was washed anew
We played sacred chords
Heard only by a few.
It was mother nature’s school
When I swam in her swimming pool

In the aftermath sure
Her body moonlight shone
Her face majestic pure
And peace had silently come
A loving tenderness ensued
When I swam in her swimming pool

Her red ruby lips
Her hair a lustrous brown
The way she moved her hips
Messed my head around
I forgot all the rules
When I swam in her swimming pool

The lines are all drawn
And positions taken
It’s arguments at dawn
And we are forsaken
I think about giving and taking
And how she takes too much
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Will our differences exchange
For the complement we seek?
I know love requires change
And turning the other cheek
Will she do some kneeling?
And her share of the rough?
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Why do we seek control?
Is it a security thing?
We could destroy the whole
Of what we’re trying to win
A lost battle has me reeling
Did I shoot the wrong stuff?
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

So give of your love
And it shall be given to you
It’s more blessed to give
Than to receive it too
Such a love sounds healing
And ours a childish bluff
I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Picture: Bella by Lucien Freud

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her kiss
She harbours resentment
She feels there’s so much I’ve missed
She harbours resentment
I try to reach her but she resists

It started so well
How could we foretell
We made plans & lists
But they didn’t include this
Our differences in time
Became a chasm wide
What’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her embrace
She harbours resentment
I see the wariness in her face
She harbours resentment
She needed more love and she needed more grace

I remember her touch
When she loved me so much
We talked every night
And our dreams shone so bright
Now there’s silence and hurt
Forgotten value and worth
What’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her love
She harbours resentment
Now whatever I do its never enough
She harbours resentment
I’m between the rock below and the hard place above

Her happiness
Was always my quest
And it’s a haunted mess
That I’ve failed that test
I wish our kingdom
Had more time to come
But what’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness