Thus I Wrote

Released June 28, 2017

She was the one for me
I went after her blind
I was out of control
I was out of my mind
She was everything to me
She gave me everything to lose
Her body was full of beauty
Her mind was full of shoes

I wrote my poetry for her
I sent her flowers and wine
I offered her bright jewellery
I wanted to make her mine
I worshipped long before her
I examined her body for clues
Her face had a sultry beauty
Her mind was full of shoes

I offered my life to her
I offered her my soul
Without her I was broken
I wanted her to make me whole
Now when I think of her
I see a picture of many blues
I remember her summer beauty
And her mind full of shoes

I wander through the cobwebs
That have gathered in my mind
I awake the visceral feelings
That I thought I’d left behind
Oh, she was once my love
Oh, she was once my muse
I was drugged by her beauty
And her mind full of shoes

I walk down the pavement
And I sit down inside
I get a hot coffee and a warm croissant
And then I start swimming against the tide

I’m reaching out
I’m trying to connect
I don’t know what’s next
I’m trying to connect

Aah…This is me now

It’s a new day
And the sun is streaming hot
I forget the story in the stars
Cos nobody knows the plot
I was raised on a promise
It was whispered in the wind
It said “Give all you’ve got
And nobody can say that you’ve sinned”

I’m reaching out
I’m trying to connect

I don’t need to be rescued
I just need you to be there
I’m reaching out for something
Something we can share
But there’s too much noise, You can’t hear me
And there’s a haze, So we can’t see
I’m still outside, Your comfort zone
And when you don’t understand, I feel more alone

I’m reaching out
I don’t know what’s next
I’m reaching out
I’m trying to connect

Aah…This is me now

I created a song from my original poem and changed it in the process as often happens.

Trying to Connect (previously released as I Heard The Skylark).

Released February 21, 2016

Act 1

It’s a stormy night
But the balcony is dry
I can hear the rain falling
I can see the clouds fly
I drink my whisky down
It warms my gut
Her red dress is wet
And her eyes are shut

We hear the music float
From the streets below
And she smiles and she sways
And she dances real slow
As I watch her move
I feel my blood rise
I wait till she’s ready
And she opens her eyes

Well…I must have been crazy
She had a troubled past
But she’s so beautiful
I forget it couldn’t last

“Dance with me Baby”
“This is our night”
And she holds out her arms
In the pale moonlight

Act 2

She finds me again
She’d gone missing for a while
She has a bottle of whisky
And her “kiss-me” smile
I feel the whisky burn
All the way down
I can see the dawn is breaking
Over this forgotten town

She takes off her red dress
I can see her new tattoos
And I was nearly falling
And losing myself anew

I said “I loved you once
But its all over now…”
“Oh”, She said “Please hold me
Because I need you now…”

Act 3

The sweat runs its journey
Slowly down my back
As I sit in a bar
Way off the beaten track
The music hangs in the air
The sea crashes nearby
He said “Have another whisky…
Now tell me…why?”

“Well…her vulnerable beauty
Was her siren song
And it pulled me in
From the ship I was on
We went in fast on a ride
That was wild and strong
And she forgot her demons
But it was not for long

And it felt like love
’Til things began to break
I thought I was enough
But that was my mistake

She hid her strong will
Deep in her vulnerability
I was broken on the rocks
Hidden in her stormy sea…”

Act 4

I finished my song
To a little applause
It was long past midnight
And it felt a lost cause
I packed my Martin guitar
With its Baggs pickup
She gave them to me
Long after our breakup

She took one of my names
But she spelt it wrong
She only ever wanted
To sing her song
And she sacrificed all
With talent and brand
Until the world chose her
With an invisible hand

Well…she’s famous now
But I’m hurt by the calculation
Of all the steps she buried
Under her infatuation

I’m lonely sometimes
With my choice to be free
My fire ain’t as hot
But it belongs to me

I cross the river at its ford
My cloak hides my head from the world
I cross the river at its ford
My cloak hides my head from the world

I follow the raven through twisted hills
I’m weary but I must travel still
I follow the raven through twisted hills
I’m weary but I must travel still

Is this a strange destiny that brings me here
Or do I run from something that I fear
Is this a strange destiny that brings me here
Or do I run from something that I fear

I kneel and I pray to a God I don’t know
I wait for the rain and the thunder to go
I kneel and I pray to a God I don’t know
I wait for the rain and the thunder to go

I find pure water and a single green tree
And the sun also shines in the sky for me
I find pure water and a single green tree
And the sun also shines in the sky for me

Is this a strange destiny that brings me here
Or do I run from something that I fear
Is this a strange destiny that brings me here
Or do I run from something that I fear

I stood at the cross of two great roads
With the dew rising in the morning
And I offered up all that I hold
With the dew rising in the morning

And the earth it moved
And the wind it blew
There is still time to forgive
And the seeds they flew
And the trees they grew
There is still time to forgive

The wine on her lips was red from the sun
That shone on her in the morning
Oh she was my love under the sun
That shone on her in the morning

And the earth it moved
And the wind it blew
There is still time to forgive
And the seeds they flew
And the trees they grew
There is still time to forgive

Her lash on my skin, it cut and broke through
In the fading light of the evening
And the blood I let run to sow something new
In the fading light of the evening

And the earth it moved
And the wind it blew
There is still time to forgive
And the seeds they flew
And the trees they grew
There is still time to forgive

Is this how we love?
Is this how we live?
And is there still time to forgive?
Is this how we love?
Is this how we live?
And is there still time to forgive?

I’ve seen the power and  I’ve seen the glory
I was seated at the feast,
I celebrated many ceremonies
I was dark and aloof as a priest.
Somehow I  felt seduced
And that I was asked to betray,
And I felt too excluded
To make an instinctive play.

I was often defeated
But never did I lose,
I felt I had too few options
But I was brave enough to choose.
I sailed the stormy ocean
Till I landed here on this shore,
But I had heard the siren’s song
For a long time before.

I drank into the night
To lose myself for a while,
And sometimes I found a dark portrait
With a face-torn smile.
And I have given my love willingly,
It was not from manacles torn.
But since  then I’ve seen my love die
And I’ve seen something else born.

I was often defeated
But never did I lose,
I felt I had too few options
But I was brave enough to choose.
And all that I want now
Is of no consequence,
For I am but stardust
For this world to dispense.

I don’t need no desert
To know I’m in the wilderness
I don’t need no burning bush
Telling me to pray or confess
I don’t need no lamb of God
Talking about redemption or sin
No, I’ve been knocking on that door
I need someone to let me in

I don’t need no politician
To take me by the hand
Or to part the economy
With some magical command
I don’t need no rich man’s advice
From the wave he’s floating in
No, I’ve been knocking on that door
I need someone to let me in

I don’t need no market
To tell me what I’m worth
I just want to compete
To serve and to work
Sometimes you need help and the right wave
Before you can win
So I’ll keep knocking on that door
Until someone lets me in

I’ve heard enough about the failures
That have put me on my knees
I’ve examined every one of them
And I’m improving by degrees
It’s been a lesson in humility
But I’ll take it on the chin
And I’ll keep knocking on that door
Until someone lets me in

My glass is half full
As I learn what they teach
I see lights of opportunites
But they’re still out of reach
They say that in every fall
There’s a seed of a rise therein
So I’ll keep knocking on that door
Until someone lets me in.

Well, you’re my friend…
And can you see…
But do you…do you know me
Do you know the thoughts I’ve got.
Do you know I have a love
For everyone I know
And I have a lust for life
I want to to live and not let go
But there are times I feel alone
And something rises up inside
It eats at my heart
And it darkens my mind

And then a dark demon
Stalks my dreams
And then a dark demon
Stalks my dreams
I need a love
To save me
From this dark demon…

Well come, now take my hand
And together let’s make a stand
I’ll be your port
In the storm
And when it’s cold
You’ll keep you warm
I hope we find peace
And love lights up our lives
And shines forever
Our saviour inside

From this dark demon
That stalks our dreams
From this dark demon
That stalks our dreams
We need a love
To save us
From this dark demon…

This is based on an earlier poem I wrote of the same name but more recently inspired by the song “I See a Darkness” by Will Oldham…the Johnny Cash cover version especially. I like the metaphor of the dark demon and of love casting out the demons as Christ did in the bible. He used love to banish fear. I have no particular allegiance to religion but the stories form a powerful backdrop to our culture and resonate with me. I see them as useful and powerful metaphors.