Thus I Wrote

I see ghosts of late
Judging my fate
The haunting of familiar faces
In familiar places
The pricking of past emotion
The memories of past devotion

I see ghosts of late
(As I contemplate)
Of son and daughters
Of mother and father
Of sister and brothers
Of wives and lovers

I see ghosts of late
(In my emotional state)
Of wishes and regret
Of victories others forget
Of the turning of the earth
Of life and of death

Here are my thoughts about the afterlife..
In my catholic childhood imagery was rife
Hell was a deep dark pit with fire
Heaven was a blue sky with clouds up higher
Purgatory was somewhere in between
And Limbo was for babies dying unclean

Lucifer the devil lived in fiery Hell
Heaven was God’s choice to dwell
No exit from Limbo, Heaven or Hell
But Purgatory was a temporary rehab hotel

I believe now in no Afterlife
But we create enough pleasure and strife
To create a Heaven and Hell on earth to show
That we reap what we sow

Heaven, I see, is valued and included
And Hell is lonely and excluded
Heaven sees reward for craft and graft
Hell is a wasted life distraught

He took a risk for his creation
His reward the riches of nations
He has talent and tenacity
But I don’t trust his veracity
He acts the eagle but he’s a vulture
Living off the bones of our culture

With his power he endowed
On his life a secret shroud
Over how he nurtures
His company’s culture
So that the end it seems
Justifies his grubby means

His people are guided
By the culture he decided
By the clearly given rewards
Approved by the board
So why does our society fail
To throw him in jail?

This is a clear defect.
If he has such an effect
If he is king of all he surveys
And all value only he purveys
Why is systemic wrongdoing
Somehow not his doing?

He created the culture
To lead his vultures
To achieve the first mover advantage
He gave his soul to manage
From criminal activity
He got market exclusivity….

Now he’s untouchable in his tower
Of political and media power

The truth of beauty
Is in the underlying duty
Form is the birth of function
Removing faults at every junction

Do we need God as referee
When we now have CCTV?
Do we not need religion because
We now have so many laws?

We are so pragmatic
But we’ve lost some magic
Old people die alone
Such a hidden misery grown

We have yet to count the cost
Of the love we have lost

Let’s hold hands
As we walk on the soft sand
Where the palm tree grows
Where the summer breeze blows
Where the salty sea flows
Where the cool moon glows
There my heart skips a beat
And hope rises in the heat

My hope is a start
I know trusting is tough
I’m playing a part
And taking chances is enough
I know I’ve got the heart
For another big love

Lets walk & share a joke
We won’t fix what ain’t broke
We’ve got less to come
And we’ve got much more already done
Is it really an illusion
A mad wonderful confusion
We’ve been here before
But we’re back for more

My hope is a start
And there’s no time to bluff
I’m playing a part
And my trust is enough
I’ve got the heart
For another big love

There’s a truth in your beauty
The form of your life’s duty
I see your patience and care
How you give and take your share
I see your love and grace
Shine in time and space

My hope is a start
I know trusting is tough
I’m playing a part
And taking chances is enough
I know I’ve got the heart
For another big love

I told a joke
And it was misunderstood
I did not play social games
Like many others could
In talking from the heart
I was always second best
I live in my head
Focussed on my quest

I pushed the world
And the world it punched back
It cycled and it swirled
It changed from white to black
I surfed the waves of change
Til I landed on this beach
Now it feels so strange
The future’s slipping out of reach

How did we find
Ourselves on different sides?
What started as a line
Is now a chasm wide
I wish that I could hold you
Like when our love was new
But our demands they were too many
And our gifts they were too few

I asked why
But alone no answer came
Together the picture is empty
But at least we have a frame
Will our role be revealed?
Will we wait too long to live?
The lilies of the field
They just live and give

I drew an eight
When I wanted a Jack
But I’ll play the hand I’m dealt
Because there’s no use looking back
If hard work’s the platform
Then I’m ready for my luck to gain
Life may be full of storms
So I dance in the rain

I raised my voice, when I should have not
I looked at you, while thinking wrong thoughts
I drank too much, and disguised by mirth
Said careless words, and you, got hurt

After we argue, I often shut you out
I waited to calm down, I wouldn’t trust my mouth
I made a silence & I wouldn’t let it go
I made you lonely, and I wish, it wasn’t so.

I spend too much time, living in my head
It makes me negative, and aloof, you said
I need more heart, and I need more fun
I feed the elephant, when I, should make it run

My emotions are dark, too dark for me to read
They swirl, they rise up, when it’s calmness I need
They lash out when things don’t go my way
My wise counsel, is drowned, inside my head.

I’ve seen a love, that’s as warm as the sun
It touched the heart and the soul of everyone
A graceful self that was clear to its shine
An inspiration, but I’m so, far behind

I know I’m blind so I can’t see
That I’m a prisoner so I’m not free
That a change now must surely come
That if I conquer myself, I will be done

Picture by Piotr Antonow

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to give
So..Let’s give to each other
And help us better the life we live

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to listen and talk
So..Let’s cherish one another
And help each other grow through the knocks

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to forgive
So..Let’s forgive now
So we can be released to fully live

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to laugh and have fun
So..Let’s wring the fun out of our days
And laugh until we have none

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to hold hands
So..Let’s enjoy our gentle touch
And enjoy our simple pleasures while we can

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to kiss
So..Let’s enjoy our affection
So our best days have not been missed

She radiates light
Her smile lifts my heart
If she has problems
She keeps them apart
She has a lust for life
That inspires me to presume
She is beautiful
She lights up the room

Her hair it shines
Her eyes are bright
Her skin is clear
She dresses just right
Her calm poise
With a hint of perfume
She is beautiful
She lights up the room

Her spirit radiates
A love not artificial
It gives her a beauty
Beyond the superficial
She has a grace
And a vitality that blooms
She is beautiful
She lights up the room

For 5 minutes
She is amazing
She touched my life
Like a fire blazing
It was pure
And then gone too soon
She is beautiful
She lights up the room

I now pray for grace
To fill my soul
So that I could radiate
And touch people more
To open up my heart
And sing a better tune
She is beautiful
She lights up the room

You get up early
Wash your face
You go to work
Take your place
They all depend on you
You’re always well prepared
They see you smiling
But inside you’re scared

You’re always busy
Always things to do
Work, friends and family
Help see the day through
You just wish sometimes
You trusted someone who really cared
To open up your heart to
When inside you’re scared

Fear grows in the dark
So open up your heart
Let the healing begin
Let the light in

We’re all afraid
When we’re alone
We need love
To help us home
So open up your heart
A problem’s halved when shared
Let the light in
When inside you’re scared

Fear grows in the dark
So open up your heart
Let the healing begin
Let the light in

Picture: the-conversation-piotr-antonow http://www.piotrantonow.com