Thus I Wrote

She finds me again somehow
After going missing for a while
With a bottle of whisky
And her “kiss-me” smile

I drink my whisky
It burns all the way down
I see the dawn is breaking
Over this forgotten town

She takes off her red dress
She has new tattoos
And I was falling
And losing myself anew

I said “I loved you
But its all over now…”
She said “I tried leaving you
But I don’t know how…”

I spend a lot of time
Inside my head
Trying to find if the future
Has a golden thread

I am sensitive
I get hurt a lot
But I say many things
When I should have not

Sometimes like a bad car
I drive all over the place
But its seems the only way
That I can find my space

But I discovered no more faults
Than others show
And I discovered no less virtues
Than others know

I learned of fear and pain
Are my companions in my growth
And to look them in the eye
And stare them down both

I’m on a winding road
With no diversion or distraction
With no sex, drugs or alcohol
To replace effective action

And every day a crossroads
A chance to start again
And yet another chance
To ‘suck it up’ again

🙂

Its a stormy night
But the balcony is dry
I can hear the rain falling
I can see the clouds fly

I drink my whisky
I feel it warm my gut
Her red dress is wet
And her eyes are shut

We hear music float
From the streets below
She smiles and sways
And dances real slow

I drink and I watch
I feel my blood rise
She smiles and sways
And opens her eyes

I must be crazy
She has a troubled past
But she’s so beautiful
I forget it can’t last

“Dance with me”, she whispers
“This is our night”
She holds out her arms
In the pale moonlight

We all want our space
Created within the human race
And so far as we can see
For us, the best way is democracy

Life is a compromise
But we developed a common view
That the needs of the many
Must outweigh the needs of the few

A multicultural society
Has many minorities
And a more fragmented common view
Because they must be included too

But we all want our space
Created within the human race
And so far as we can see
For us, the best way is democracy

You want opportunity and to be free
And to choose who, the government will be
You want fairness and you want rights,
And justice to give, it all some bite

And thus is created your space
And those of everyone
And the boundaries in the race
Agreed by you and everyone

So we create our space
Within the human race
With responsibility
To others in our democracy

We want to feel we matter
To connect and serve with feeling
As we run up that hill
Looking for a meaning

How do we know we exist?
How do we know we’re alive?
How many people do we need to tell us
Before we accept we have arrived?

We’re together in this room
But only some can see the elephant
In the truth of everyday experience
We compete to be relevant

There are 14 Billion years before us
And we get 80 years or so
We stutter briefly on the stage
We flicker briefly and then we go

Wise men have worked to show us
We are leaves in the forest green
On our own we have little significance
In the playing of life’s great scene

We’re together in this room
But only some can see the elephant
In the truth of everyday experience
We compete to be relevant

Some ignorance may be a virtue
That many find unexpected
The truth is in life’s experience
And not in its meaning dissected

In the end our focus shifts
To those we love and what we’re giving
And while we’ve something to share
There’s still a relevance to our living

We’re together in this room
But only some can see the elephant
In the truth of everyday experience
While we share, we are relevant

Inspired by the Birdman film

Hey little darling
What’s that you say
Your mother’s a fish?
And she just swam away?

I looked for you
Through the veil of my tears
But I couldn’t see you
Through the smoke of my fears

As I lay dying
I thought of you,
Of all the things I wanted
And all that I didn’t do

But it’s not all about you
To be human is to share
Can you open your mind?
And see what is fair

We have desires and secrets
That we forgot we had
We tried to bury them
But they still smelled bad

As I lay dying
I thought of you,
Of all the things I wanted
And all that I didn’t do

We have desires and secrets
That buried us alive
That killed the intimacy
Our love needs to survive

In my life I have drifted
Between the earth and the sky
My life’s quest a balance
Between the us and the I

As I lay dying
I thought of you,
Of all the things I wanted
And all that I didn’t do

Inspired by As i Lay Dying by William Faulkner

I hear the rain fall
I see the cloudy moon
Will I ever love again?

I see you call
Across a crowded room
Will i ever love again?

But who am I?
And what can I give?
Will I ever love again?

Who will hear my cry
“I need your love to live”?
Will I ever love again?

Will I ever love again,
Oh no, not I
Will I ever love again?
Oh no, not I
I’m on my own
From the seeds I’ve sown
Will I ever love again?

I see a dark ocean swell
Below a raging nimbus sky
Will I ever love again?

Will I ever love again,
Oh no, not I
Will I ever love again?
Oh no, not I
I’m on my own
From the seeds I’ve sown
Will I ever love again?

I was hungry
I was hungry for your love
I was hungry
I was hungry for your love

I saw your face
I saw your lips
I saw the line of your body
And the sway of your hips

I moved up and down
On the edge of sin
I held my breath
And then I pushed on in

I held you
I held you in my arms
I held you
I held you in my arms

I saw you laugh
I felt your belly move
The smell of you
Was a sweet perfume

I moved up and down
On the edge of sin
I held my breath
And then I pushed on in

I don’t need no desert
To know I’m in the wilderness
I don’t need no burning bush
Telling me to pray or confess
I don’t need no lamb of God
Talking about redemption or sin
No, I’ve been knocking on that door
I need someone to let me in

I don’t need no politician
To take me by the hand
Or to part the economy
With some magical command
I don’t need no rich man’s advice
From the wave he’s floating in
No, I’ve been knocking on that door
I need someone to let me in

I don’t need no market
To tell me what I’m worth
I just want to compete
To serve and to work
Sometimes you need help and the right wave
Before you can win
So I’ll keep knocking on that door
Until someone lets me in

I’ve heard enough about the failures
That have put me on my knees
I’ve examined every one of them
And I’m improving by degrees
It’s been a lesson in humility
But I’ll take it on the chin
And I’ll keep knocking on that door
Until someone lets me in

My glass is half full
As I learn what they teach
I see lights of opportunites
But they’re still out of reach
They say that in every fall
There’s a seed of a rise therein
So I’ll keep knocking on that door
Until someone lets me in.

Well, you’re my friend…
And can you see…
But do you…do you know me
Do you know the thoughts I’ve got.
Do you know I have a love
For everyone I know
And I have a lust for life
I want to to live and not let go
But there are times I feel alone
And something rises up inside
It eats at my heart
And it darkens my mind

And then a dark demon
Stalks my dreams
And then a dark demon
Stalks my dreams
I need a love
To save me
From this dark demon…

Well come, now take my hand
And together let’s make a stand
I’ll be your port
In the storm
And when it’s cold
You’ll keep you warm
I hope we find peace
And love lights up our lives
And shines forever
Our saviour inside

From this dark demon
That stalks our dreams
From this dark demon
That stalks our dreams
We need a love
To save us
From this dark demon…

This is based on an earlier poem I wrote of the same name but more recently inspired by the song “I See a Darkness” by Will Oldham…the Johnny Cash cover version especially. I like the metaphor of the dark demon and of love casting out the demons as Christ did in the bible. He used love to banish fear. I have no particular allegiance to religion but the stories form a powerful backdrop to our culture and resonate with me. I see them as useful and powerful metaphors.