Thus I Wrote

I move over shimmering waters,
I see my refection in the deep.
I create what I thought was good,
I sow what I thought I’d reap.
I hear a trumpet sound,
At dawn on a lonely hill.
I see a white bird flying south,
As a lion feeds on its kill.

I see a baby born,
All crying and bloody red.
With his mother’s hair matted,
As she sleeps in her lonely bed.
I dig deep in the earth,
All wet, sticky and black.
I am soaked by the rain,
But I will never turn back.

I see my love measured out,
Into fine, crystal glasses.
All handed out anxiously,
To the next person who passes.
I see my hands rise,
As the rain falls from the sky.
And the mud on my forearms shakes,
With every screaming cry….

I see the sun rise
And fall to the earth again
I see the leaves grow and die
In a forest that still remains
In the evening I await,
The white bird to fly
I’m in need of forgiveness,
And the peace it can buy.

I’m no Dylan
I’m an ordinary man
I’ve worked all my life
I’ve given all I can

I’ve tried to give something
Different and best
I’ve tried to add value
More than the rest

But now I accept
What I’m asked to do
That I’m no Dylan,
That I just muddle through

There’s a dark cloud gathering
It’s growing in the east
It smells of old evil
It smells of the beast

There’s a cancer spreading
Into the holes and cracks
Of where a state fails
Or where a state lacks

It provokes with atrocity
It feeds on fear and hate
It feeds on fresh martyrdom
To bind and to create

They’re infected by ideology
That seduces and deceives
These young men will give more
Than they ever will receive

We see violence begets violence
And hate begets hate
And one failed generation
Gives birth to the next

So can we contain them?
Can we leave them to their fate?
Inside a wall of isolation
Can we leave them to their state?

And let them show the world
Their struggle of brutal seeds
To grow into a society
That will meet all of their needs

The majestic mountains
With white snow on the top
The green forests and the valleys
That glisten with raindrops
I’ve travelled the blue oceans
With sails, white and unfurled
Beneath the deep, blue sky
Of our beautiful world

There it spins our beautiful world
There it spins our beautiful world
There it spins our beautiful world
There it spins, again

Einstein found the formula
For general relativity
And Da Vinci was honoured
For his creativity
Mozart he made music
And Picasso had his art
They all gave more than I
But they still had to depart

We give all to our beautiful world
We give all to our beautiful world
We give all to our beautiful world
Then we depart, again

I went into your fields
To sow and to reap
I went into your cities
Where what I win I keep
I built a strong castle
I followed your command
But I found no protection
From your invisible hand

I knocked at your door
For acceptance within
I blew a trumpet
You were not listening
I studied and I learned
To change colour and shape
I climbed over your rejections
To find my place to take

We fight for a place in our beautiful world
We fight for a place in our beautiful world
We fight for a place in our beautiful world
We fight for a place, again

Let’s enjoy the ride
I say to you and me
We are but leaves
On a much bigger tree
And while the sun is out
Let me hold your hand
Love is the earth
In which we stand

We give ourselves to our beautiful world
We give ourselves to our beautiful world
We give ourselves to our beautiful world
We give with love, again

I crawled under the ivy
I crawled under the trees
I crawled to where the flowers grow
My father dug the earth
My mother gave birth
Under my hands I felt the earth flow

I sat where the sun shone
Where the hay was tossed on
And the smell rose to the sky
We drank tea and fed
On rhubarb in bread
And we talked of things, Dad and I

I held his hand with the lark
I was afraid of the dark
As we took milk to the creamery
In the horse and cart
We laughed and felt part
Of the world that raced by me

I stayed outside alone
I was scared on my own
I said I’d no money but I lied
All the children go
To the puppet show
I stayed outside and I cried

Down the hill I go
Through the green meadow
I could see them all laid out
As the hailstones fell
As they lashed my legs
As they moved all our things out

Rock on rock
Hard like rock
Cold like rock
Sharp edged rock

Hard like rock
The calculating machine
I was crushed
Down below and in between

Like a lion
Mistaken as a friend
I forgot the claws
That got me in the end

I was useful
But only for a while
My ideas soon
Were out of style

My greater good
And my integrity
Will be valued
When they later see

Might is right
So my enemies say
They feared my mind
And made my body pay

Not enough love
Stood by my side
They promised forever
But I think they lied

Dare I eat a peach?
Dare I cut my hair?
Shall I buy a new suit?
Something fashionable to wear?

Shall I dance again?
Those musical steps
But shall I learn to tango?
Now more structure is best

Shall I travel again
To see new lands?
With whom shall I talk ?
With whom shall I plan?

I walk on the beach
With the tide coming in
I see the white waves
With the surfers jumping

Like a sirens song
Do they call to me?
To run and join them
With seaweed in the sea?

I’m losing the luxury of anger
My childish tantrums now are few
I must be dignified and courteous
I must be patient in all I do

It’s a shock to see the world
Like a rose with its petals torn
I can see the functionality
But it’s less pretty and more forlorn

I lift the carpet for beauty
Because kindness is not everywhere
But I will be kind in my way
And maybe I’ll make the world care

I know being kind to a stranger
Is not logical at first sight
But it helps to make the world better
And somehow feels about right

We’re on this journey together
Let’s hold hands while it’s light
We’re on this journey together
In your eyes my reflection’s bright

Your words explode in my head
And I freeze with pain…
My stomach’s in a knot
And I’m back here again

Like a knife on a taut rope
Back and forth until I fall
Into the lonely darkness
Surrounded by a dark wall

Such warmth and such joy
You offer on a good day
But on a dark day a knife
That makes me hurt & pay
That makes me lose myself
And my demons to recover
Who take my voice
Who launch and takeover..

Your every word an arrow
Shot true and sharp
Cut through my defence
And straight into my heart

I was slow and feeble
Against your rapier thrusts
Before I knew where I was
I was hooked on unjust
I had responded
In a battle I did not choose
And it was a battle
That I would always lose

You force a crisis
You ignore my pleas
You parry my defence
You thrust and seize
Your satisfaction prize
You see my wound bleed
You see me hurt silent
“Oh Stay… let me feed…”
You think “Its your fault
By all that you do,
I forget my pain
By inflicting it on you”.

And so I withdraw
To let my wounds heal
To analyse and to write
To process what I feel

Grey limestone celtic cross
Grey cold autumn day
Leafless trees sway
And crows fly away

Is this my only monument?
As this cold silence bleeds
Above where the worms breed?
Where the earth waits to feed?

Is there no love?
A transaction of give and take
No forgiveness for our sins
And so our hearts just break

Is this the autumn?
A foreboding of winter ahead
The life and colours of Summer
All now blown and fled.

Red hair and green ivy
Brown freckles and laughing play
My childhood full of light
I remember it that way

The river and the green fields
The ocean and the seaweed
I lived by the sea when I was young
On a farm where the animals feed

The pig and the yearly killing
The blood and the community
My mother always cried inside
So they could not see

Brown corduroy and cropped hair
A shy and worried smile
Different and often alone
Punch was a frightening trial

Incence and fancy dress
The magic of the feast
Enthralled by the church
I could have been a priest

Her blue eyes and blonde hair
I love memories of this
I was so ignorant of life
But she gave me first kiss