Thus I Wrote

On a wild horse
Not broken yet
I’m thrown about
Holding on yet
No purpose, stuck
Magnified
No direction, stuck
Can’t ride

In the darkness
From the deep they rise
I see the ghosts
I hear their cries
Then I hold your hand
I see your smiles
I hear the ocean
I see the sun rise

I have some money
It serves some needs
But it won’t, set, me free
I dream of the future
I still have some fears
I still have some chains, that pull, at me

I can’t change much
But I can change me
And I can’t do much
But I, can, be free

I built a house
I wanted to feel safe
It’s what the world, sees, of me
Now I’m opening my doors
I wanna let some light in
And maybe I’ll see, more, clearly

I can’t change much
But I can change me
And I can’t do much
But I, can, be free

Now and then
I slow down…
I feel the earth turn,
Our planet sigh

Sun on my face
Birds sing
Breeze in the trees
Then a butterfly

Soulful music
I breathe…
In the moment
I escape outside

To those who have accepted their fate
To those who live with grace
To those who do not follow
But take their own path

To those who live now
To those who laugh long
To those who love all
May they incur no wrath

I don’t like it much
The destruction, the division and the deceit
But does that make me
One of the Liberal Elite?

I don’t like it much
All the insults & the lack of respect
But does that make me
Too Politically Correct?

I don’t like it much
The noise all around
All the ignorance and the lies
But empty vessels make most sound

There’s never enough time under the sun
We all leave this place with much undone
With visceral feelings of roads not taken
But we’re not alone and we’re not forsaken

Lo, There do I see my Father
Lo, There do I see my Mother
And My Sisters and my Brothers
Lo, There do I see the line
Of my people back in time
Lo, They do they call to me
To take my place in the halls of Eternity
Where our enemies have been vanquished
Where the brave shall live forever
Where the truth shall reign
Where there’s beauty and no pain
Where we shall not mourn but rejoice
For we have lived a good life.

I’ve squandered my days with plans of many things
And I did not plan for this, but now I vow to live it well
For all that I ought to have thought, and have not thought;
For all that I ought to have said, and have not said;
For all that I ought to have done, and have not done;
I ask for forgiveness.

We met that evening
In the ICA cinema
We met that evening
In the ICA cinema
Your hands were so warm
My heart began to thaw

They say the darkest hour
Is right before the dawn
They say the darkest hour
Is right before the dawn
It’s been brighter since I’ve met you
Is my conclusion drawn

In the dark at the Green Note
Music floated in the air
In the dark at the Green Note
Music floated in the air
Later we kissed and travelled North
As you moved your hand through my hair

We swim in dirty water
Sometimes we feel sick
We swim in dirty water
Sometimes we feel sick
Some say we’re too sensitive
But I wouldn’t change us a bit

We travelled through London
We saw better by bus
We travelled through London
We saw better by bus
On to Brick Lane graffiti
I love many things about us

You’re in a black mantilla by my grave
In the black dress bought from money you’ve saved
You’re in black sunglasses dropping tears
You’re oblivious to quizzical glances here

Now throw in your red rose
To finish your design
And I’ll love you forever
…In the memories I’ve left behind
And I’ll love you forever
…In the memories I’ve left behind

You’re in a straw hat, as the waves they pass
You’re drinking Rosado, from a beaded glass
You’re in black sunglasses, hiding your fears
You’re oblivious to admiring, glances here

And the breeze it carries the sun
As the boats, begin to dance
As the stars align, one more time
…You have one more chance
As the stars align one more time
…You have one more chance

We acquire knowledge,
And we pass it on down the line
And we do what we can
As we pass through time

And even with our backs against the wall
There’s still hope for us today
We have no answers
But we still have stuff that we can say
And I know we have no answers
But we still have stuff that we can say

We love each other
With our beautiful fractured hearts
We need something to hold onto
We need someone’s hand to grasp

Worries about trust
Are you seeing someone?
Rationally I said no
But instinctively I said run

I said I gotta go
You were stunned you began
But then you angrily said
You must be loco…man

I’m not loco
I’m not loco
Just an ordinary
Ordinary…man

Worries about trust
Accusation and doubt
You got a problem now
You wanna change me about

Sometimes, I stumble
Sometimes, into the dark
Sometimes, I handle it
Sometimes, it leaves a mark

I’m not loco
I’m not loco
Just an ordinary
Ordinary…man

Actions speak much louder
Given with the right intention
Instead of chameleon words
Hidden with clever invention

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

“Don’t hate me” you strangely said
But it’s something I never do
I’ve called you out as wrong
That’s all I think of you

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

You can survive as a chameleon
But you’ll leave much undone
You gotta stand out with respect
When you wanna get some

What do you want of me now?
In those chameleon words, I can’t hear?
But I remember your actions
Is it Karma that you fear?

Well the parting was disjointed
And of an apparent selfish design
Was it just a clumsy mistake?
Or something more planned and malign?
The magic left like a light going out
Like air from a hissing balloon
The barriers came crashing down
Rushing the warmth from the room

I was made redundant
My services not now required
This was a crash landing
Ice emerged from the fire
Such breathless, ruthless action
No time even to think
A sword taken to the chain
It cut straight through the link

Later when I resurfaced
After gut wrenching days
“Keep good memories of us”
“Don’t hate me”, she says
Her actions had spoken louder
They didn’t care what I thought
Was a dishonest bow-tied closure?
Now really what she sought?

“Oh, integrity’s important to me,
I don’t want you to feel used”
(Accepting no responsibility
But implying my feelings are confused)
I can forgive of course
But only with explicit request
And only with some recognition
That growth and change are a quest

Nothing can protect me now
Cos everything must change and end
But there are more loving ways
Of leaving the party at the bend
Something nags at her inside
Maybe it’s the karma that she’s won?
Somewhere she needs approval
Something’s yet unfinished and undone