Thus I Wrote

They say that she was from the East
She was warm and cool
Pale skin and green eyes
That looked straight through you

She had a room in Carnaby street
She loved it there
But she couldn’t afford it
Without working extra there

She took me in
The light was a hazy red
From the shawl draped
Over the lamp beside the bed
Incense smoke was floating
Above the nervousness in the room
She smiled and opened up
The wine I’d brought home
She poured and let it flow
Over the past where we didn’t roam

We looked at the cracks in the ceiling
As she blew black cigarette smoke
Her perfumed belly moved
When she laughed at my joke
In the red twilight we were the same
Looking for something
Looking for someone
To hold onto

Later, I heard she’d left
Everything was gone, She’d moved on
Maybe, she found something
Maybe, she found someone
To hold onto

This human condition
In which we live
In which we know
This absurd condition

We watch ourselves grow
Live, love and decay
We hear echoes of eternity
In a dark universe of stars
We wonder, we cry out
For a father or mother
A creator to give us meaning
Someone to make us feel less alone

We push our boundaries
We compete for our space
We seek some control
For the world to remember us here
And so the river runs
Ever onward
And so the current pushes us
Ever onward

Now I’m alone at night
In the darkness
I feel the earth turn
Beneath me
I’m fading, fading into silk
Black silk

Dark skies, foreboding
No summer sun or rain
I feel the wheel is turning
It’s time for change again
We don’t do it neat
But within the rules we agree
We make blind bets
On our future religiously

Complex Truths, Simple Lies
We don’t want statistics
Have cake, eat cake
Let’s banish pessimists
Unicorns and Sunny uplands
If we take our country back
Let’s blame the Eu
For whatever we lack

Have faith, our faith
We don’t need expert views
Stir emotion, stir fears
Must control all the news
Use Lies, Use untruths
Engage and stir the nation
Stir emotion, stir fears
Over sovereignty and immigration

And then the veil was ripped
By those who knew
And darkness seeped in
And darkness came through
In the noise you got sick
And you fell to the ground
Your pure heart stopped
And silence wrapped round

You were the best of us,
You were the best of us
When your smile danced
You were the best of us,
You were the best of us
We were deeply enhanced

Getup, standup
Gotta stand up for your rights
Evil shall happen while good people
Remain hidden and out of sight
The fragile light of the world
That we’ve built for so long
Needs people who serve right
To fight those who serve wrong

I had a visceral feeling
The grief of a death or divorce
It was punch to the heart
It punched with so much force
It’s done for a generation
It’s a civil war without guns
But I know who they are
I know they are the ones

Elites wore new clothes
Demagogues with a new blend
They polluted the waters
But he’s no fisherman’s friend
Take back, bring back
Lies about democracy and control
They focussed on the 1%
And not the damage to the whole

Ignorance is a choice
Ignorance is a choice
We choose what we do
Ignorance is a choice
Ignorance is a choice
For me and for you

I was born naked
Naked in a frightening world
A world without obvious meaning
A world insecure
A world with no direction
A world of swirling forms
A world of noise and uncertainty

And so I built a house
To make sense of the world
And it became my world
With pillars strong
And I found others
Who shared my world
And together we built a city
To protect us
To give us meaning
To protect us from storms

But one day a big storm came
That knocked a pillar of my house down
That rocked my world
That separated me from the others
That forced me to look at the truth
To look at the darkness beyond my house
To look at the darkness beyond my city
And I saw death
I saw no obvious meaning
I saw I was alone
I saw the terrifying responsibility
Of my freedom
I saw the terrifying responsibility
Of finding my own way

For a while I went mad
And I sought distraction
In drink, in sex, in recreation
But, over time, came acceptance
Over time,  I found my new niche
Over time, I found a way to compete and serve
Over time, I built a new house
In a new city
With bigger windows
Over time, I let more light in.

You were out on the street with me
Full of passionate conviction
You made me realise then
That I’d let the darkness in
That I’d let ignorant intensity
Punch me in the heart
I worried the centre couldn’t hold
I worried things were falling apart

We try to make the future
Through the limits of our own haze
And it becomes our faith
And we push it in our tribal ways
But it makes me feel lonely
And then I need to hear you call my name
As I ache for the things I love
In this grand game

And I feel so small
As I stare up at the stars
As I feel the sand shifting
Oh but I remember we’ve travelled, so far
And I really don’t mind losing
If  the reason is sound
If we don’t lose the wisdom we’ve found
As this grand game, cycles round

Now when everything is slipping
And the cold wind starts to blow
I remember that sometimes things fall apart
So better things may fall together and hold
Inequality shines through
Beneath the ignorance and the lies
But false promises won’t do you no good
In this grand game

And I feel so small
As I stare up at the stars
As I feel the sand shifting
Oh but I remember, we’ve travelled, so far
And I really don’t mind losing
If the reason is sound
If we don’t lose the wisdom we’ve found
In this grand game

Now it’s all fading away
We compete well as we must
But we’ve much more in common
Than that which divides us
There’s always room in the dark
As in between the changes we’re drifting
To the light of the moon
Your lovely face, I’m lifting

Image – Anselm Kiefer – The Renowned Orders of The Night – Guggenheim Bilbao.

I see a darkness
Threaten our light
That has created our day
From the darkest night.

They feel disconnected
They feel all alone
Too much inequality
They don’t listen any more
They have lost trust
In the perceived elite
Who got richer than they
Who couldn’t make ends meet

The global winds of change
Tell them they’ve lost control
And they believe many lies
They pay papers to be told
They want the identity
Of their yesterday’s nation
And they want more say
And less immigration

Now they won’t listen
They just want to fight
For destruction and change
And not for what’s right

And there was a void
Festering in their minds
And something dark was born
Leaving cohesion behind
And in this dark void
So a false prophet grew
He thought of false hope
The fog they won’t see through

So the ingredients were there
Now the scene was set
For him to enter
From stage right or left
The wizard of fear
He is the demagogue
The alchemist of prejudice
Emotions and fog

This assassin is now dressed
In the clothes of a clown
But his creative destruction
Won’t bring him down
He shot the future
Right through the heart
I was there as it died
And things fell apart

Get out of the lane
You’re moving too slow
It’s my turn now
And you’ve nowhere to go

What can you offer me?
What can you give?
How can you serve me?
With no purpose to live?

You’re just a jigsaw piece
Lost and swirling in space
Get out of the lane
You’re in the wrong place

The giant heavy wheel turns slowly
And I smell fear in the air
And many must make decisions
With no sage to guide them there

The cycle of birth and growth
Is relentless, ruthless and blind
Evolution asks many questions
I can’t answer in my small mind

They’re complacent and blind to change
They pushed too hard and too fast
They allowed the weeds to grow
And now they choke the flowers at last

It’s 100 years, that’s a century
Since the world fell apart
There’s a feeling of something similar
And there’s a feeling of a start

Change is in the nature of things
I cannot control how things unfold
I feel things fall apart again
I feel the centre can’t hold

Are you free?

Are you free?
To make it on your own?
To be the author of your life?
Do you mind being alone?

Do you have chains?
Ones you cannot see?
Ones you cannot escape?
That connect you to me?

Are you free?
From tomorrow and yesterday?
And all the useless fears along the way?
And can you enjoy?
The love and the beauty?
That you move too fast to see?

Oh, do you feel unprepared?
For all the problems we share?
But life is come as you are?
Just feel the wind in your hair?

Oh, do the waves whisper and preach?
To you on a sun kissed beach?
Or maybe on a blue ocean caught?
With the sails blowing taut?

Are you free?
To make your life a masterpiece?
To make your life’s purpose clear?
By creating and giving?
By being selfless and sincere?

Are you free?
Have you spat in their eye?
Have you stared them down?
Have you said goodbye?
To all those heavy things?
That stifle and weigh you down?
That bleed you like vampires?
’Til you sink and drown?
Have you fought off the darkness?
Have you come into the light?
Are you now free to be?
The best that you can be?

Are you free?

Hey B, I hear you
But I ain’t no mushroom
You’re so hot on the stage
And so cold in the bedroom

You say you’re not happy
You say it’s my fault
Well that’s your wound
And that’s your salt

I worked with Becky
We had some platonic fun
But you made the bullet
And you pointed the gun

And what’s with the hive?
All them sisters now onside
Saying you’re now a victim
You know that’s not right

I love you baby
I want to see you happy
I never want to hurt you
But you gotta believe me

I love you baby
But you gotta move on
If we can’t stop hurting
Then we’ll soon be gone