Thus I Wrote

I am Lazarus!
Drowzy and dazed
I am buried
Will I be raised?

I am Lazarus!
In my tomb so tight
In the darkness
Who will be my light?

I am Lazarus!
Lonely and forgotten
I smell of death
Redundant and rotten

I am Lazarus!
Weighed down by pride
Too full of fear
To let anyone inside

I am Lazarus!
Is your love enough?
To be my saviour
And raise me up?

I am Lazarus!
Praying for redemption
Praying for a purpose
To lever my ascension

I am Lazarus!
Someone opens my tomb
“Now raise yourself,
From your second womb”

Let us go then you and I
With the sun low in the sky
Let us hold hands and walk
And fall into a gentle talk
Let us cross the river
Let us kiss and each deliver
Our happy moments together

Let us forget the unspoken
Words and promises broken
Let us forget our yesterday
Full of debts we should pay
I know we have a tension
Of things not to mention
In our happy moments together

I have a burning desire
To take it to the wire
To shout and converse
To disturb the universe
To answer the overwhelming question
And so release my tension
Before our happy moments together

When we dance I forget
All the things that I regret
I feel myself changing
Something inside rearranging
And my old life dying
I am free and flying
In our happy moments together

Can I conquer myself so
I may be free to go
And love you dearly
And see you clearly
To live each moments past
As if they were our last
Happy moments together

I live on Dean Street
And I pay rent every week
I work in a local bar
Too noisy even to speak

I have a child of two
From a man long gone
Then love made me forget
That I was just a pawn

I walk in the park
With my child of two
The birds fly by
And the sun shines through

Couples walk on
With their children in tow
And the fun that they have
Is something that I don’t know

I dance alone now..
The curtains are shut
The lights are low
I am Beautiful
Look at Me now..
I am Extraordinary
I am Shining
I am Powerful
I am Flying
Look at Me now..
I am Transforming
I am Flying
Look at Me now..

She looked like she was lost
As she waved them down in Kings Cross
She told them the cost
And haggled for five minutes at most
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

She said “Yes” with tears in her eyes
He thought he had won such a prize
She thought “He’s handsome” and “He’s wise”
He forgot all between her thighs
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

“Mr President, We must provide aid,
Otherwise our economy will fade,
And damage all the plans we’ve laid
Because of all the goods we trade”
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

He committed no crimes at all
He lived in a house with four walls
“Do unto others…”, he obeyed the call
He feared that otherwise society would fall
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

Let’s go to sleep
I was appealing
Oh, please tell me
What you’re feeling

(It was the aftermath
In the moonlight
And my eyes were heavy
After our loving night)

Are you happy
With how we are?
Yes, of course darling
Together we’ve come far

Tell me your dreams
What do you believe?
What do you want?
And hope to receive

Uh…What…?
It’s late & this is deep
Let’s just agree…
To cuddle and to sleep

But I’m afraid…
And it’s lonely if I hide
I need your love
To fill the emptiness inside

Uh…Did I dream?
Did you want some tea?
I’ve been working so hard
And I’m so sleepy…you see?

I drifted off to sleep
So I couldn’t see her
As she turned over quietly
And wiped away her tear

I cannot cross the big divide
That stretches between our souls
I can’t get your attention
With all the distractions and different roles
This is my life, and I feel disconnected
No one is affected
By the statues I’ve erected
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

It’s not about love and it’s not about sex
(But I won’t say no if they come along)
I leave this island and sail on the sea
To give something good that lets me belong
I work hard to create something of value
But everything I do
I find there’s a queue
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

I’m singing on stage and I’m working hard
The song is one they can sing along
I get to the chorus and hope for release
But we don’t connect and it goes all wrong
They sound out of sync and sound out of tune
My words are strewn
And howled at the moon
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

The sands are falling and it gets less easy
The world it demands something new
The pressure is mounting and I feel queasy
I’m listening but I don’t know what to do
From the everyday experience that the world views
It will sift & choose
Who will win &  lose
I’m getting frustrated & angry enough to swear

I left you sleeping
In the Chelsea Hotel
“A change is gonna come”
I heard the wind tell

I sailed a dark ocean
On a rising swell
To finish my quest
Before the wind fell

I fought for treasure
To win love & respect
But it damaged my heart
More than you expect

The wind it changed
And I was cast aside
We lost each other
As our love died

Generations come and go
But the earth still remains
The sun also rises
And falls to rise again

I remember the cracks
You felt out of control
You felt lonely and hurt
And you blamed my role

So did I not love you?
Enough to stop your fear grow?
Did I let the emptiness
Creep into your soul?

Or was there a seed sown
In your lonely childhood?
That so choked your heart
And so froze your blood?

But by what strange alchemy
Can we so change our state?
From such bright love
To such anger and hate?

So as we drew our lines
And we fought to stalemate
Our union became a patient
That we dissected on a plate

But still, it felt a shock
Like a punch to the heart
I thought we could mend
But you said we must part

Later that night
I remember it well
You came to my room
In the St James Hotel

And so began my quest
To make you mine
With flowers and jewels
With laughter and wine

We were sky and earth
We were wind and sea
But we fitted each other
Like a lock and key

I gave you protection
I gave you children and a home
And enough love to fill
The space in your soul

So we agreed to join
As we surfed our wave
And we both felt valued
For the love we both gave

I hear you shot a man in Reno
Just to watch him die
I just want to know Johnny
Why did you do it, why?

Was it your broken heart?
Was it the drugs and alcohol?
Was it writer’s block?
That caused so big a fall

I wear my sackcloth
And lash myself to atone
I am holier than thou
Did you feel my first stone

There’s an empty space
In the middle of my soul
That I fill by finding
A superior punitive role

Johnny, you make me forget
All the sins in my life
By helping me stand tall
On the pillar of your strife