Thus I Wrote

How did you justify
Stealing and killing
From those who own
But are unwilling?

You used religion
And science to say
They are below you
In made up ways

And now you use arrogance
And discrimination
To control equals or betters
Even in the same nation

Jokes are used
Hurtfully…
To hide behind
Insidiously…

And statues are used
To glorify the pillage
They poison the nation
& weaken it with spillage

The spawn of public schools
Like Eton & Harrow
Brutal and shameless
Monsters of sorrow

But inherited wealth
Can’t be repeated
Change must come, cos
The future can’t be cheated

The past can hold back
Or help evolve to find
New ways that include
New ties that bind

I’m on an island
Disconnected
But I see us evolve
Through chaos & time

To changing perceptions
Of new truths
Of new values
Of a new effective

We compete
Upon foundations
Of our culture
Hidden & taken for granted

I fear a crack
In the foundations
Of our culture
Hidden & taken for granted

Can I accept a part
In this play
Yet play it well
Each & every day

I see others struggle
Struggle for love
Struggle for money
But it’s never enough

Yet in their struggle
Is their meaning
Their distraction
From their ending

The more I know
The more I’m apart
The distance between
The head and the heart.

I see it in the distance
Under the falling sun
I’ve food and I’ve water
And a little black gun

I hear laughter and noise
In the valley below
They push to make
Some shape I don’t know

I walk in the twilight
Sometimes I run
I can’t change much
To stop the sun

I look for humility
In this scene
My actions build
My art to be seen

I was an adolescent once
A time of transition
Of great learning
Of experimentation
Of new experiences

I was an adolescent once
I found romance
And new beginnings
I created something
That became my life

Career & relationships
Children and marriages
Houses and parties
Family and friends
Growth and change

Now another transition
Again everything is new
More baggage now
Create meaning & joy
Create a new life.

I’d no safety net
No guiding light
A feeling of disconnection
The need to fight

Unprocessed feelings
Didn’t know how
Humour and anger
Am I better now?

I got up, I got out
Only way I could
One rung at a time
Fire and blood

Waited for change
A new tech wave
Everything I had
Everything I gave

No inheritance
No history
Move fast & bury
My anxiety & my worry

Never knew myself
Difficult to say
Lost relationships
Along the way

Life is the journey
Not the end
Now what’s next
Around the bend?

It’s difficult to close the door
To leave it all behind
The past has good memories
It’s a balm to the mind

I’ve been invisible
As I juggled their needs
I’d lost myself
Thrashing in the weeds

I must move on
And let it all go
Enjoy the future
And accept the unknown

Maybe I can fix myself
And look forward anew
I could not fix them
But I can love you

On a wild horse
Not broken yet
I’m thrown about
Holding on yet
No purpose, stuck
Magnified
No direction, stuck
Can’t ride

In the darkness
From the deep they rise
I see the ghosts
I hear their cries
Then I hold your hand
I see your smiles
I hear the ocean
I see the sun rise

I have some money
It serves some needs
But it won’t set me free
I have dark chains
Born in my past
But they still pull at me

I have dreams of the future
I have some fears
They’re hidden deep inside of me
I fight for control
But often I find
That my fears they control me

I can’t change much
But I can change me
I can’t do much
But I can be free

I built a house
I wanted to feel safe
Now it’s all the world sees of me
And I’ve lately found
That it distorts
The world that I can see

So I’ll open my doors
I’ll remove my chains
Then I’ll see more clearly
I’ll connect more
I’ll give more
Then I’ll live more freely

I can’t change much
But I can change me
I can’t do much
But I can be free

I did not always manage
To stop the damage
That my impatience had spread
My fears rushed on
I know it was wrong
And our love ruptured and bled

Like a finely tuned machine
I was good for a scene
But then something broke inside
I did not manage my fears
Oh, they cost me dear
But I’ve learned a lot on the ride

I’m glad I was kind to you
That I was steadfast and true
Cos this will stand the test of time
And it’s never too late
To grow and change our fate
To change some parts of our mind