Thus I Wrote

I wake in the morning
My gut tense with fear
Going nowhere fast, revving hard
I’m stuck in first gear

I have a coffee
Trying to clear my head
Before my thoughts spill out
Into something I said

I then think of him
And have done since he died
His gaze unwavering
I never knew him to hide

He never seemed worried
About being left behind
And his ignorance never
Seemed to clutter his mind

Behind his kindness
And out of view
He was on praying terms
With a God I once knew

And was it by accident?
Or was it by design?
That he had a pure heart
And a calm, simple mind

When I was with him
I forgot panic and fear
And basked in the warmth
Of having love near

Immigrants arrive
And women have new roles
Rules change as midwives
For a new evolving whole

I see factions fight
To invade my space
I feel claustrophobhic
Trying to keep my place

I feel more uncertain
And fearful of my fate
The world is changing
But that’s a natural state

And I have come to trust
That the invisible hand,
Of consensus in this world
Knows better than I understand

I finished my song
To little applause
It was long past midnight
And it felt a lost cause

I packed my Martin guitar
With a Baggs pickup
She gave them to me
Long after the breakup

She took one of my names
But she spelt it wrong
But she only ever wanted
To sing her song

She seduced with sacrifice
With talent and brand
Until the world chose her
With an invisible hand

She’s famous now
And it hurts still, the calculation
And all the steps she buried
Under her infatuation

It feels lonely sometimes
This choice to be free
This fire isn’t as bright
But it belongs to me

Sweat runs its journey
Slowly down my back
As I sit in a bar
Way off the beaten track

Music hangs in the air
And the sea crashes nearby
“Have another whisky…
Now tell me…why?”

“Her vulnerable beauty
Was her siren song
To pull me in
From the ship I was on

We went in fast
On a ride, wild and strong
She forgot her demons
But it was not for long

It had felt like love
Until things began to break
I thought she had enough to give
But that was a mistake

She hides her strong will
Deep in her vulnerability
I was broken on the rocks
Hidden in her stormy sea…”

She finds me again somehow
After going missing for a while
With a bottle of whisky
And her “kiss-me” smile

I drink my whisky
It burns all the way down
I see the dawn is breaking
Over this forgotten town

She takes off her red dress
She has new tattoos
And I was falling
And losing myself anew

I said “I loved you
But its all over now…”
She said “I tried leaving you
But I don’t know how…”

I spend a lot of time
Inside my head
Trying to find if the future
Has a golden thread

I am sensitive
I get hurt a lot
But I say many things
When I should have not

Sometimes like a bad car
I drive all over the place
But its seems the only way
That I can find my space

But I discovered no more faults
Than others show
And I discovered no less virtues
Than others know

I learned of fear and pain
Are my companions in my growth
And to look them in the eye
And stare them down both

I’m on a winding road
With no diversion or distraction
With no sex, drugs or alcohol
To replace effective action

And every day a crossroads
A chance to start again
And yet another chance
To ‘suck it up’ again

🙂

Its a stormy night
But the balcony is dry
I can hear the rain falling
I can see the clouds fly

I drink my whisky
I feel it warm my gut
Her red dress is wet
And her eyes are shut

We hear music float
From the streets below
She smiles and sways
And dances real slow

I drink and I watch
I feel my blood rise
She smiles and sways
And opens her eyes

I must be crazy
She has a troubled past
But she’s so beautiful
I forget it can’t last

“Dance with me”, she whispers
“This is our night”
She holds out her arms
In the pale moonlight

We all want our space
Created within the human race
And so far as we can see
For us, the best way is democracy

Life is a compromise
But we developed a common view
That the needs of the many
Must outweigh the needs of the few

A multicultural society
Has many minorities
And a more fragmented common view
Because they must be included too

But we all want our space
Created within the human race
And so far as we can see
For us, the best way is democracy

You want opportunity and to be free
And to choose who, the government will be
You want fairness and you want rights,
And justice to give, it all some bite

And thus is created your space
And those of everyone
And the boundaries in the race
Agreed by you and everyone

So we create our space
Within the human race
With responsibility
To others in our democracy

It breaks my heart
To see you in so much pain
You have so much to give
You have so much to gain

You are free, they say
To choose your life’s purpose true
But they forget to say
Your purpose is built by you

I would embrace you
Let your beating heart be still
I would stroke your hair
I would let you have your fill
I would rock you softly
I would kiss you gently
Until you felt my love’s shade
Until you felt your anxiety fade

You are special to me
I am with you everyday
You are never alone
Please believe what I say

We are swimmers
Out on an ocean swell
Sometimes up in heaven
Sometimes down in hell
But your time will come
Just believe in yourself
The world will give to you
When you have given to yourself

My thoughts and
My love are with you
I just wish there was more
That I could do for you
But I know deep within
You will find the love anew
That you must give
To somebody wonderful…you.

x

Some say…
“Sticks and stones
May break our bones
But words cannot hurt us…”

But words can be gratuitously insulting
And words can be exclusive
But why not be courteous?
And why not be inclusive?
To feel good about ourselves
Must we be abusive?
Do hurting words come easy
And nourishing ones elusive?

We can disapprove of what you say
But we defend your right to say it
(And our right to ignore what you say
And not to listen while you say it)
If it does not clearly incite
Others to anger and fight
To use sticks and stones
To break our bones

Words convey the ideas
Our humanity needs to grow
And defending free speech
Is the only way we know
To allow potential good ideas
A fertile place to grow
But words can never condone
Using sticks and stones
To break our bones

We have also learned
From past experiences burned
That your crime of intolerance
Is best fought by tolerance
And to grow and be free
We need to live in unity
And not use sticks and stones
To break our bones