Thus I Wrote

For as long as I live
I’m a port in the storm
A shelter from the cold
To keep you warm
In understanding you
I’m in way over my head
But I’ll always be there
To love you instead

Let’s hold hands
As we walk on the soft sand
Where the palm tree grows
Where the summer breeze blows
Where the salty sea flows
Where the cool moon glows
There my heart skips a beat
And hope rises in the heat

My hope is a start
I know trusting is tough
I’m playing a part
And taking chances is enough
I know I’ve got the heart
For another big love

Lets walk & share a joke
We won’t fix what ain’t broke
We’ve got less to come
And we’ve got much more already done
Is it really an illusion
A mad wonderful confusion
We’ve been here before
But we’re back for more

My hope is a start
And there’s no time to bluff
I’m playing a part
And my trust is enough
I’ve got the heart
For another big love

There’s a truth in your beauty
The form of your life’s duty
I see your patience and care
How you give and take your share
I see your love and grace
Shine in time and space

My hope is a start
I know trusting is tough
I’m playing a part
And taking chances is enough
I know I’ve got the heart
For another big love

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her kiss
She harbours resentment
She feels there’s so much I’ve missed
She harbours resentment
I try to reach her but she resists

It started so well
How could we foretell
We made plans & lists
But they didn’t include this
Our differences in time
Became a chasm wide
What’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her embrace
She harbours resentment
I see the wariness in her face
She harbours resentment
She needed more love and needed more grace

I remember her touch
When she loved me so much
We talked every night
Our dreams shone so bright
Now there’s silence and hurt
Forgotten value and worth
What’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her love
She harbours resentment
Now however much I give is never enough
She harbours resentment
I’m between the rock below and the hard place above

Her happiness
Was always my quest
I’m haunted by the mess
Of that failed test
I wish our kingdom
Had more time to come
But what’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness

Something’s fallen
Something’s broken
Many careless words
I wish were never spoken

Not enough love left
To pick up all the parts
Avoiding the many falls
Appears the required art

A love like the sun
Would banish fear
Would shine a light
To make the precious clear

I raised my voice, when I should have not
I looked at you, while thinking wrong thoughts
I drank too much, and disguised by mirth
Said careless words, and you, got hurt

After we argue, I often shut you out
I waited to calm down, I wouldn’t trust my mouth
I made a silence & I wouldn’t let it go
I made you lonely, and I wish, it wasn’t so.

I spend too much time, living in my head
It makes me negative, and aloof, you said
I need more heart, and I need more fun
I feed the elephant, when I, should make it run

My emotions are dark, too dark for me to read
They swirl, they rise up, when it’s calmness I need
They lash out when things don’t go my way
My wise counsel, is drowned, inside my head.

I’ve seen a love, that’s as warm as the sun
It touched the heart and the soul of everyone
A graceful self that was clear to its shine
An inspiration, but I’m so, far behind

I know I’m blind so I can’t see
That I’m a prisoner so I’m not free
That a change now must surely come
That if I conquer myself, I will be done

Picture by Piotr Antonow

This is the end
You said it’s over
We can still be friends
But never again lovers

I know..the seasons will turn without me
I know..the sun will rise without me
I know..the rain will fall without me
I know..the flowers will grow without me

You said with tears
That it’s better we part
That over the years
I broke your heart

I know..the seasons will turn without me
I know..the sun will rise without me
I know..the rain will fall without me
I know..the flowers will grow without me

You want to move on
You can see a new life
You have now grown
Beyond being my wife

I know..the seasons will turn without me
I know..the sun will rise without me
I know..the rain will fall without me
I know..the flowers will grow without me

This is the end
You said it’s over
We can still be friends
But never again lovers

I know..the seasons will turn without me
I know..the rain will fall without me
I know..the sun will rise without me
I know..the leaves will fall without me
I know..the flowers will grow without me
I know..rivers will flow without me

You said with tears
That it’s better we part
That over the years
I broke your heart

I know..you will wake without me
I know.. you will cook without me
I know..you will cry without me
I know.. you will  laugh without me
I know.. you will have fun without me
I know..you will celebrate without me

You want to move on
You can see a new life
You have now grown
Beyond being my wife

I know..you will have a new home without me
I know ..you will dress without me
I know..you will look good without me
I know..you will sleep without me
I know..you will have new friends without me
I know..you will love again without me

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to give
So..Let’s give to each other
And help us better the life we live

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to listen and talk
So..Let’s cherish one another
And help each other grow through the knocks

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to forgive
So..Let’s forgive now
So we can be released to fully live

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to laugh and have fun
So..Let’s wring the fun out of our days
And laugh until we have none

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to hold hands
So..Let’s enjoy our gentle touch
And enjoy our simple pleasures while we can

One day we’ll be too old
We’ll be too old to kiss
So..Let’s enjoy our affection
So our best days have not been missed

We spoke last night
I said “I’m sorry,
I can make it right,
You should not worry”

But was it too little?
Was it too late?
Has the hurt horse long gone
Through that broken gate

Does a broken heart
Ever really mend?
Does the buried hurt
Haunt us till the end?

Is it too little?
Is it too late?
Has the hurt horse long gone
Through that broken gate?

True love it shines
Our lives to bless
To create and design
Needs forgiveness?

Is it too little?
Is it too late?
Has the hurt horse long gone
Through that broken gate?

They say you reap
Just what you sowed
You get what you deserve
You get what you are owed

So is it too little?
Is it too late?
Has the hurt horse long gone
Through that broken gate?

Picture: The Conversation by Piotr Antonow

I hear you curse me
As I’m half asleep
The dish washer
Is loaded wrong again
Its beyond an answer
Or an argument

I hear you complain
That I’m not doing enough
That drip drip feed
Of wounding failure
Showing no edge or end
To what you expect of me
I’m overwhelmed
By the bottomless pit
Of your expectation

The picture has been painted
It’s a fixture now
Its my Dorian Grey
And its strangling me.
Its not me
Its just me in a bad light

We used to talk for hours
But not any more
To much blame and hurt
Strangle the words at birth
Perceived rejection
Is a poison
That grows in the dark
Strangling relationships

But I know….
You reap what you sow…