Thus I Wrote

Fears grow in the dark
Buried and out of sight
But they will shrivel
When brought into the light

Fears are part of us
To make us more effective
If we let them drain us
They’ll make us more defective

Fears may be demons
To possess our minds
But love will cast them out
To leave clarity behind

We don’t need the fire
Or the brimstone of hell
We’ve found something
That will do just as well
We fear its all seeing eye
Will observe us if we sin
And we fear the penance that
Our transgressions will bring
We don’t need prayer
We can telephone our plea
And we don’t need God
We’ve got CCTV

We don’t need confession
We’ve another ceremony
We now explore our guilt
On the couch with therapy
We don’t need the bible
We’ve so many laws
And self-help books
To help fix our flaws
We’ve come so far since
Moses parted the Red Sea
So we don’t need God
We’ve got CCTV

We asked God for meaning
But silence is all we hear
We may feel empty
And be filled with fear
We may be seduced by
Evil leaders and religious lies
With evil manipulation
Wrapped in a meaningful disguise
We may commit many sins
By what they decree
To replace God’s meaning
Unseen by CCTV

I’m not afraid of death
I’ve heard the siren song
Of distraction and deception
And indiffererence for so long

I’m not afraid of death
I’ve spat in its eye
I counted out the bullets
But I did not cry

I’m not afraid of death
I’ve spat in its eye
I pulled the trigger
But I did not die

I’m not afraid of death
I will not know
The earth will stay
But I will go

I’m not afraid of death
I know not the hour
I tense and I flinch
Under its dark power

I’m not afraid of death
The spectre of decay
Losing independence
And the strength to share

I’m not afraid of death
The pull of that dark abyss
Will it be slow?
Or sudden and swift?

I’m not afraid of death
My turn in the sun
The end is not my will
But an unknown will be done

I’m not afraid of death
I’ve spat in its eye
I counted out the bullets
But I did not cry

I’m not afraid of death
I’ve spat in its eye
I pulled the trigger
But I did not die

She has no filter
She thinks something,
And then she just says it.
I consider the options
The plus and minus then,
The moment is lost with it.

There’s a time to filter
And then there is,
A time to let the world know.
Trust is built on
Knowing how to predict,
Where the other will go.

If I calculate
Or I prevaricate,
I create distance and fear.
Sometimes it’s better
To say what you feel,
To allow your loved ones near.

I must clear my mind
Of the clutter and distance,
And the blockage in our way.
I’ve a deep well of love
But they must know it,
In small ways every day.

I am in heaven
And the place is very strange
And compared to life on earth
There is a lot of change

There is no competition
There is no fight to survive
There is no need to procreate
To keep the species alive

There is no give and take
And no tasks to fullfil
And no bonding together
Through experience and skill

There are no seasons
And there is no change
No birth, marriage or death
No ceremonies to arrange

There is no need to eat
Or to drink some fine wine
There is no love or hate
And all our thoughts align

There are no worries
Although God needs to be adored
All that I remember as a human
Is gone and, frankly, I’m bored.

I’ve hung no albatross
Round their necks,
For my bar is not set high.
But there’s a fear
That drives me,
To do more before I die.

Why do I wish for?
To have given more?
And is it just a selfish desire?
Am I searching for meaning
In my scuttling life
With some fuel for a dying fire?

I’ve walked by gravestones
And park benches,
And their names they called to me.
I’m saddened by whispers
Of their futile wishes,
For immortality.

Shall I lay myself humbly?
On my cross?
And serve all the needs in my way?
Such deeds may not be
Remembered in stone
But will help somebody here today

I am Lazarus!
Drowzy and dazed
I am buried
Will I be raised?

I am Lazarus!
In my tomb so tight
In the darkness
Who will be my light?

I am Lazarus!
Lonely and forgotten
I smell of death
Redundant and rotten

I am Lazarus!
Weighed down by pride
Too full of fear
To let anyone inside

I am Lazarus!
Is your love enough?
To be my saviour
And raise me up?

I am Lazarus!
Praying for redemption
Praying for a purpose
To lever my ascension

I am Lazarus!
Someone opens my tomb
“Now raise yourself,
From your second womb”

She looked like she was lost
As she waved them down in Kings Cross
She told them the cost
And haggled for five minutes at most
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

She said “Yes” with tears in her eyes
He thought he had won such a prize
She thought “He’s handsome” and “He’s wise”
He forgot all between her thighs
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

“Mr President, We must provide aid,
Otherwise our economy will fade,
And damage all the plans we’ve laid
Because of all the goods we trade”
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

He committed no crimes at all
He lived in a house with four walls
“Do unto others…”, he obeyed the call
He feared that otherwise society would fall
It’s about take and it’s about give
In the shimmering space in which we live

I spent most of my life in denial
I just lived in the moment while
Every minute of every day
I just lived and squeezed and made it pay
Because just like a red rose
I was built for a purpose

But often I rage and fight
Against the dying of the light
When I raise my eyes
When I look and realise
That beyond our sight
Is the darkness of the night

I have looked again and again
For someone with power to bargain
Someone to answer why
We live and why we die
But no-one heard my tune
I was howling at the moon

Sometimes I’m depressed and sad
When I think my future’s bad
When I feel that I’m alone
With nothing to offer anyone
But I won’t drink to forget
Or brush it under the carpet

Because it is a natural process
From which we can’t digress
And the final part is to accept
That nobody can escape death
So burn each day more bright
Until the dying of the light

Do we rage against the dying of the light
Or do we go gently into that good night
As ignorant parts of a greater machine
The latter serves better it seems
For all raging that we may do
Is like howling at the moon
We love this shimmering ephemeral place in which we live

Our blurry vision of the night is a tension that drives our way
Life distracts us and we are mostly blind during the day
There is a truth beneath our actions and words
That we feel and glimpse although it is blurred
As humans we adapt and survive
To keep our species alive
We love this shimmering ephemeral place in which we live