Thus I Wrote

There’s a fissure and a split,
In the armour that I’ve built,
That makes me so restless now.
In the recesses of my mind,
Where fear scurries blind,
And darkness rises somehow.

There’s a tightness in my gut,
Of time racing and things ending, but,
I’ve a longing for forbidden things.
I hear the inexorable journey’s hiss,
To the darkness of the abyss,
And the sound while the banshee sings.

To that which I had completed,
To that which I had defeated,
And that which I must rise above now.
The cacophony of rejection,
As loneliness and non-acceptance,
Irrelevance and uselessness row.

I wrestle in my dreams now,
A dark demon that stalks and howls,
Suddenly stripped of my armour’s power.
I’m suddenly falling from on high,
Fearing multiple goodbyes,
Before hellos have finished their hour.

And yet I’m brave so I must rise,
To look my fears in the eyes,
And because I’m blessed to be alive.
I will stand and fight,
For love and the right,
To hold someone’s hand and smile.

I see them in coffee shops
Laughing on the street
Often now in leisure sports gear
They are grounded
They are confident and sure
They make me smile when they are near

And we are but warrior ghosts
Floating above the ground
Looking for a port in a stormy sea
Are we in crisis?
Are we lost?
Because we’re so alone and free

There is so much energy
There is so much talent
Wasted on meaningless things
We need a new messiah
Who will bring focus to all
And who knows what the future will bring?

Sometimes I feel lonely
But my heart’s full of love
And I want to give so much more
I want to wrap my arms
Around all those who seek
And let them serve and grow once more

I did not always manage
To stop the damage
That my impatience had spread
My fears rushed on
I know it was wrong
And our love ruptured and bled

Like a finely tuned machine
I was good for a scene
But then something broke inside
I did not manage my fears
Oh, they cost me dear
But I’ve learned a lot on the ride

I’m glad I was kind to you
That I was steadfast and true
Cos this will stand the test of time
And it’s never too late
To grow and change our fate
To change some parts of our mind

I asked why
She burned incense
In the room before she leaves?
She whispered quietly
“It will keep me safe, and rightly
This is what, I believe”

I asked why
He prayed to God
What did it build or achieve?
He whispered quietly
“It will keep me safe, and rightly
This is what, I believe”

Now I do not understand
All the rituals you plan
Or all that you perceive
But they whispered quietly
“It will keep us safe, and rightly
This is what, we believe”

I bow to the haze
Our limitations have made
This wisdom I now conceive
I will tread around lightly
How you feel safe, and rightly
This is what, I believe

This human condition
In which we live
In which we know
This absurd condition

We watch ourselves grow
Live, love and decay
We hear echoes of eternity
In a dark universe of stars
We wonder, we cry out
For a father or mother
A creator to give us meaning
Someone to make us feel less alone

We push our boundaries
We compete for our space
We seek some control
For the world to remember us here
And so the river runs
Ever onward
And so the current pushes us
Ever onward

Now I’m alone at night
In the darkness
I feel the earth turn
Beneath me
I’m fading, fading into silk
Black silk

I was born naked
Naked in a frightening world
A world without obvious meaning
A world insecure
A world with no direction
A world of swirling forms
A world of noise and uncertainty

And so I built a house
To make sense of the world
And it became my world
With pillars strong
And I found others
Who shared my world
And together we built a city
To protect us
To give us meaning
To protect us from storms

But one day a big storm came
That knocked a pillar of my house down
That rocked my world
That separated me from the others
That forced me to look at the truth
To look at the darkness beyond my house
To look at the darkness beyond my city
And I saw death
I saw no obvious meaning
I saw I was alone
I saw the terrifying responsibility
Of my freedom
I saw the terrifying responsibility
Of finding my own way

For a while I went mad
And I sought distraction
In drink, in sex, in recreation
But, over time, came acceptance
Over time,  I found my new niche
Over time, I found a way to compete and serve
Over time, I built a new house
In a new city
With bigger windows
Over time, I let more light in.

I see a darkness
Threaten our light
That has created our day
From the darkest night.

They feel disconnected
They feel all alone
Too much inequality
They don’t listen any more
They have lost trust
In the perceived elite
Who got richer than they
Who couldn’t make ends meet

The global winds of change
Tell them they’ve lost control
And they believe many lies
They pay papers to be told
They want the identity
Of their yesterday’s nation
And they want more say
And less immigration

Now they won’t listen
They just want to fight
For destruction and change
And not for what’s right

And there was a void
Festering in their minds
And something dark was born
Leaving cohesion behind
And in this dark void
So a false prophet grew
He thought of false hope
The fog they won’t see through

So the ingredients were there
Now the scene was set
For him to enter
From stage right or left
The wizard of fear
He is the demagogue
The alchemist of prejudice
Emotions and fog

This assassin is now dressed
In the clothes of a clown
But his creative destruction
Won’t bring him down
He shot the future
Right through the heart
I was there as it died
And things fell apart

Get out of the lane
You’re moving too slow
It’s my turn now
And you’ve nowhere to go

What can you offer me?
What can you give?
How can you serve me?
With no purpose to live?

You’re just a jigsaw piece
Lost and swirling in space
Get out of the lane
You’re in the wrong place

Are you free?

Are you free?
To make it on your own?
To be the author of your life?
Do you mind being alone?

Do you have chains?
Ones you cannot see?
Ones you cannot escape?
That connect you to me?

Are you free?
From tomorrow and yesterday?
And all the useless fears along the way?
And can you enjoy?
The love and the beauty?
That you move too fast to see?

Oh, do you feel unprepared?
For all the problems we share?
But life is come as you are?
Just feel the wind in your hair?

Oh, do the waves whisper and preach?
To you on a sun kissed beach?
Or maybe on a blue ocean caught?
With the sails blowing taut?

Are you free?
To make your life a masterpiece?
To make your life’s purpose clear?
By creating and giving?
By being selfless and sincere?

Are you free?
Have you spat in their eye?
Have you stared them down?
Have you said goodbye?
To all those heavy things?
That stifle and weigh you down?
That bleed you like vampires?
’Til you sink and drown?
Have you fought off the darkness?
Have you come into the light?
Are you now free to be?
The best that you can be?

Are you free?

We build on the past
We turn commandments into laws
We build organisation and process
To protect rights and give cause

What’s wrong and what’s right
Is no absolute thing
Because we grow and evolve
And reflect what change will bring

What’s wrong and what’s right
Is guided by what’s effective
In achieving the best for you
And the best for the collective

We all bow to the collective
To the secular unseen hand
To the arbiter of who’s effective
Of who falls and who stands