Thus I Wrote

I’d no safety net
No guiding light
A feeling of disconnection
The need to fight

Unprocessed feelings
Didn’t know how
Humour and anger
Am I better now?

I got up, I got out
Only way I could
One rung at a time
Fire and blood

Waited for change
A new tech wave
Everything I had
Everything I gave

No inheritance
No history
Move fast & bury
My anxiety & my worry

Never knew myself
Difficult to say
Lost relationships
Along the way

Life is the journey
Not the end
Now what’s next
Around the bend?

It’s difficult to close the door
To leave it all behind
The past has good memories
It’s a balm to the mind

I’ve been invisible
As I juggled their needs
I’d lost myself
Thrashing in the weeds

I must move on
And let it all go
Enjoy the future
And accept the unknown

Maybe I can fix myself
And look forward anew
I could not fix them
But I can love you

I’m trying to focus
On stuff I can influence
On stuff in the middle
Of my little world

I’m trying to do
What I can do
The stuff in the middle
Of my little world

There is so much
That worries me
Outside what I can touch
In my little world

Tell me what to do
To avoid the distractions
Outside what I can touch
In my little world

Is it all just
Communication now?
Is it all just
A soundbite now?
Put lipstick on a pig
and present it as a cow?

Is it all for one
To win the game now?
Is it all for one
To win the league now?
While those for all
Don’t reap what they sow?

Would society succeed
If we did not care?
Would society succeed
If we did not share?
Do enough people
consider it fair?

We are optimistic
We believe
In a better world than is
In hope
In an arc
Towards justice
And a different way
To measure effectiveness
We are optimistic

We are optimistic
We see the same void
But we choose
A different way to fill it
We accept competition
And cooperation within it
An endless circle
We end and begin it
We are optimistic

We are optimistic
We believe in evolution
In constant growth and change
In truth and beauty
In a form that follows function
In everything interconnected
In decisions that consider everything
In accepting our small place
In the chaos of everything
In acquiring knowledge
And passing it down the line
In joining hands and surfing
On the ocean of time
We are optimistic

It worries me
This lack of meaning
It frustrates me
This lack of meaning
Is every action?
Just a distraction?
From my reality?
My lack of meaning?

I know I
I know I’m blessed
Some needs met
More than the rest
But will this stuff?
Ever be enough?
To keep my head?
Above the rest?

On a wild horse
Not broken yet
I’m thrown about
Holding on yet
No purpose, stuck
Magnified
No direction, stuck
Can’t ride

In the darkness
From the deep they rise
I see the ghosts
I hear their cries
Then I hold your hand
I see your smiles
I hear the ocean
I see the sun rise

Now and then
I slow down…
I feel the earth turn,
Our planet sigh

Sun on my face
Birds sing
Breeze in the trees
Then a butterfly

Soulful music
I breathe…
In the moment
I escape outside

To those who have accepted their fate
To those who live with grace
To those who do not follow
But take their own path

To those who live now
To those who laugh long
To those who love all
May they incur no wrath

I have some money
It serves some needs
But it won’t set me free
I have dark chains
Born in my past
But they still pull at me

I have dreams of the future
I have some fears
They’re hidden deep inside of me
I fight for control
But often I find
That my fears they control me

I can’t change much
But I can change me
I can’t do much
But I can be free

I built a house
I wanted to feel safe
Now it’s all the world sees of me
And I’ve lately found
That it distorts
The world that I can see

So I’ll open my doors
I’ll remove my chains
Then I’ll see more clearly
I’ll connect more
I’ll give more
Then I’ll live more freely

I can’t change much
But I can change me
I can’t do much
But I can be free