Thus I Wrote

I don’t like it much
The destruction, the division and the deceit
But does that make me
One of the Liberal Elite?

I don’t like it much
All the insults & the lack of respect
But does that make me
Too Politically Correct?

I don’t like it much
The noise all around
All the ignorance and the lies
But empty vessels make most sound

There’s never enough time under the sun
We all leave this place with much undone
With visceral feelings of roads not taken
But we’re not alone and we’re not forsaken

Lo, There do I see my Father
Lo, There do I see my Mother
And My Sisters and my Brothers
Lo, There do I see the line
Of my people back in time
Lo, They do they call to me
To take my place in the halls of Eternity
Where our enemies have been vanquished
Where the brave shall live forever
Where the truth shall reign
Where there’s beauty and no pain
Where we shall not mourn but rejoice
For we have lived a good life.

I’ve squandered my days with plans of many things
And I did not plan for this, but now I vow to live it well
For all that I ought to have thought, and have not thought;
For all that I ought to have said, and have not said;
For all that I ought to have done, and have not done;
I ask for forgiveness.

You’re on the phone
But you’re all alone
In your echo chamber zone
And that’s not good living
You can’t find what’s real
Or process what you feel
Your divisions never heal
Whose reality are you living?

Oh…Oh…

I’ve faith in the future coming
Gotta stand up & fight
I ain’t running

It’s a fractured scene
With divisions between
And a dark screen
From the lies they’re saying
I hate this nasty stuff
It don’t mean they’re tough
It’s just a lying bluff
The patriot games they’re playing

Oh…Oh…

I’ve faith in the future coming
Gotta stand up & fight
I ain’t running

Oh…Oh…

I’ve faith in the future coming
Gotta stand up & fight
I ain’t running

I close my eyes
Have we lost the prize?
Under dark skies
Are we spinning out of control?
Can we still aim?
To play the grand game?
With dignity in our name?
And honour in our soul?

Oh…Oh…

I’ve faith in the future coming
Gotta stand up & fight
I ain’t running

You’re in a black mantilla by my grave
In the black dress bought from money you’ve saved
You’re in black sunglasses dropping tears
You’re oblivious to quizzical glances here

Now throw in your red rose
To finish your design
And I’ll love you forever
…In the memories I’ve left behind
And I’ll love you forever
…In the memories I’ve left behind

You’re in a straw hat, as the waves they pass
You’re drinking Rosado, from a beaded glass
You’re in black sunglasses, hiding your fears
You’re oblivious to admiring, glances here

And the breeze it carries the sun
As the boats, begin to dance
As the stars align, one more time
…You have one more chance
As the stars align one more time
…You have one more chance

We acquire knowledge,
And we pass it on down the line
And we do what we can
As we pass through time

And even with our backs against the wall
There’s still hope for us today
We have no answers
But we still have stuff that we can say
And I know we have no answers
But we still have stuff that we can say

We love each other
With our beautiful fractured hearts
We need something to hold onto
We need someone’s hand to grasp

I speak those shallow empty words
Filled with so many lies, I sound absurd
But I accept no responsibility
I use insults and I use attacks as news
As clickbait in social media that I use
I pollute everything with incivility

I’ve undermined what experts say
The rule of law is now my prey
I’m your prophet, listen only to me
I call it fake media and I call it fake news
Cos I wanna own your reality too
I’m your prophet, listen only to me

Have faith, blind faith in me
Have trust, blind trust in me,
I wanna be your reality
Have faith, blind faith in me

My lies keep you divided and confused
I’ve hidden real problems with that ruse
I’m so full of ignorant intensity
I’ve defeated those with passionate conviction
Who used foolish truth instead of fiction
And I don’t care about inequality

Have faith, blind faith in me
Have trust, blind trust in me,
I wanna be your reality
Have faith, blind faith in me

I awoke and I rose above
The detritus of the night
Half-remembered dreams
In the anxious half-light
I heard silent whispers
In the candlelight as they fed
And I saw the forgotten many
In the mansions of the dead

I watched her as she talked
And I saw her emotions flicker
I thought and I wondered why?
Do her angels and demons bicker?
I saw a cloud of sadness float by
I wondered what does it teach?
What hand is on her shoulder?
And from where does it reach?

In the night I feel her
Breathing love and affection
And her legs they wrap around mine
Is she seeking my protection
My prayers are like incense
They rise quietly above her head
As she searches for the answers
In the mansions of the dead

I’m not that ruthless
I’m not as decisive as you
I knew if I jumped
That it could really hurt you
And I was trying to take stock
I was trying to understand
I was trying to hold on
I was trying to hold your hand
I was trying to stay on
As we were thrown about
I was honest, I could’ve lied
In my confusion and my doubt

I’m not that cool
I’ll say I’ve been hurt by you
I know that I miss you
I know that I want to see you
But there were too many questions
I could feel you slipping
And then we were falling
We could hear things ripping
I gave all I could
I really cared about you
But I knew that this could end
With only hurt to hold on to

I‘m not that confident
I can’t say it will be fine
No, I need to see much further
Right on down the line
I don’t close my eyes and jump
No, I look before I leap
And maybe he who hesitates is lost
But we gotta choose how we sow and reap
This is another defeat
But we have not lost
Let’s remember the dream
Let’s forget the cost

There was snow on the ground
Blue sky and sun all around
Was that the reason that my blood was so thin?
I drank from the cup
Before I tried to get up
Why did I feel so exhausted there in Berlin?

They smoked outside in the snow
Then into cool music they go
They could hide ‘cos the light was so dim
They kissed and caressed
They moaned and they pressed
There was a decadence there in Berlin

Now they gave, it seemed a lot
Fruit’s always juicy before the rot
I finished the song, Ruthless, to sing
The buildings were all big and clear
It was all a bit functional and austere
I’d a lot of mixed feelings, there,  in Berlin

Beneath the cathedral dome
In high renaissance, like Rome
The organ could let God hear us sing
Outside in the snow
Past blue stars I go
I found some peace and some beauty in Berlin

I dreamt of Lana del Rey
How I became her prey
Her vulnerability, hid her desire to win
But though I know about love
As signified by that dove
I shivered with the cold there in Berlin

I lit two candles to show
That love can grow
And that closed games are really such a sin
I offered up two prayers
A symbol of how much I care
Such warmth was needed in Berlin

You must go now, you must protect yourself
You can see a better future, for you, from the shelf
In your head, you had a dream of me
But I was nervous competing, with someone I couldn’t see
“Don’t worry, we need no scripts”, you said now, didn’t you?
Ah, but it’s all over now between me and you

This pain is real and I ain’t made it up
I didn’t drink for a long time, but you held the cup
I never felt, anything quite like this before
When we met I was nervous, about what I wasn’t really sure
When you held back, I tried, to push on through
Ah, but it’s all over now between me and you

I wear my heart on my sleeve now, or so I’m told
I want it all, or nothing at all, it’s time to be bold
You seemed to get me, you said that we were twins
We gave and wanted love and to be the best at everything
We talked of plans and starting our lives anew
Ah, but it’s all over now between me and you

I forgot the lessons, that you tried to teach me
You want loyalty, and you want love unconditionally
I know now that you’ve set the bar way too high
And you ran when you saw that I would not comply
I would’ve liked one more chance, to make, our dream true
Ah, but it’s all over now between me and you

I remember all the messages that you sent to me
All those pictures and words are seared in my memory
But now we’ve fallen, into a dark silent abyss
Was our deep connection so easy to dismiss?
But are all such questions, now,  just wasted on you?
Ah, cos it’s all over now between me and you

Oh…Oh…

I’m drinking, in Gordon’s bar
These last few years, I’ve travelled far
But I’d only, seen her once before

Now the light, is dimming
And I see the ghosts, of many women
They ask for all, that I can give and more

Oh Oh….

We are, the authors
From gifts, of our fathers
Of our, own life design

We choose, with each other
From the paths, we discover
But with, no given guidelines

Oh Oh….

All things, they fade
And alternatives, they exclude
We’ve been weighed, we’ve been measured but not often understood

And things, they fade
Alternatives, they exclude
Sometimes we’re rejected but that don’t mean that we’re no good

 

Anselm Kiefer – The Orders of the Night – 1996.
Emulsion, acrylic and shellac on canvas. 356 x 463 cm. Seattle Art Museum.

We argued last night
We tore more things apart
We found more anger
We found fear and pain in our hearts
And our shared reality
Is now a fractured one
We cannot communicate
Now understanding’s all gone

The leaves blow in the wind
I can see them fly
And Winter is coming
I can see it in the sky
We hide in entertainment
In provocation and distraction
To avoid what’s coming
We huddle in factions

Something’s fractured,
Spinning out of control
In the future we planned
In the narratives we told.
In the winds of change
I’m still holding on
And I still have dreams

There’s a darkness
Hidden deep in us all
Maybe we won’t recognise
Those who make the call
Those who summon it to rise
Like a hungry dog to feed
Those who hide in the shadows
So they won’t bleed

Something’s fractured,
Spinning out of control
In the future we planned
In the narratives we told.
In the winds of change
I’m still holding on
And I still have dreams

Fake enemies are blamed
In a circus of simple lies
To hide a complex world
That doesn’t fit our size
Fake Gods are raised
And fake futures are portrayed
Sold by fake prophets
Demanding “blind faith”.

On the ocean I’m free
But I’m also alone
And so I trade some freedom
To build flesh on bare bone
And in agreeing to build
And in agreeing to share
We must walk a fine line
Not to lose ourselves out there

We call out, we call out
But the answer comes back empty
And so I turn to you
And you turn to me
I know you have your truth,
And I have mine
But it’s a shared truth
That’s what we must find