Thus I Wrote

Seen the cross in the graveyard
Saying this dreaming now must end
It’s time to end the oppression
Into which they’ve been condemned
I travelled to Kilmainham
Where martyrs died forlorn
All changed, changed utterly
A terrible beauty was born

Now the wind it shakes the barley
I saw them at end of the day
They were drinking in dark, smoke-filled pubs
They were arguing and having their say
But brother then shot brother
And families were wrenched and torn
All changed, changed utterly
A terrible beauty was born

I heard the skylark singing
As smoke rose from the incense
And the clouds above the barren church
Were his only audience
I saw that young nation
Was still in old monochrome
But the world was now in colour
Telling many to leave home

In exile I watched Riverdance
They played rugby with style
In the air they built up confidence
On the earth new country miles
On the edge of a European Union
They were the Celtic Tiger grown
All changed, changed utterly
From that terrible beauty born

No longer saints, no longer scholars
But I still see Celtic ghosts somehow
When the crash came, they fell so hard
They recover, as others allow
In this new world, they’re now free
But with chains, of a different form
United Nations, changed utterly
From a terrible beauty born

Will nothing become me more in my life
Than my leaving it?
Will I face my end with graceful acceptance
Or will I end up grieving it?

Some say “It’s better to be a live dog,
Than to be a dead lion”
We must not be burdened by the past
’Cos today is all we can rely on

Men built great monuments to God
And they discovered with good reason
But God was discovered to be dead
He bound us together for a season

Now Hawking worries about AI
“It could end the human race”
What value will we then offer each other
In this crowded Godless place?

See how I live mostly half out of life
I impotently observe and plan
Sometimes I observe women full of life
And I offer them my dwindling uses, as their man

I found myself one morning, I was looking at the lines on my face
I wondered how I got there, how did I come to this place
I tried to keep my options open, over what next I would do
I never really knew myself, so how could I ever really know you?

In London I saw you dancing, And then we talked over drinks for a while
You laughed and said it’s not the time, it’s the wear and it’s the miles
I smiled as I tried to read you, I tried to predict what next you would do
But that was before I learned, I could never really know you.

You said after a party, “You fall in love with every pretty thing”
“You just love making women laugh, all the dancing and the flirting”
“Maybe you are shallow, Maybe you just blow with the wind”
“Or maybe I just can’t read you, so I fear that you have sinned”

We listened to Jimi Hendrix, his version of Dylan’s Watchtower
I wondered why it resonated, and what gave it that beauty and power
I asked you what you thought, but it seemed like it went over your head
You said that you preferred, some spiritual Indian music instead.

We drank too much and talked about stuff,  about love’s great mystery
Oh why do we fall in and out of love, why do we search ceaselessly?
I asked “Is it just a transaction, A simple exchange of value”
You said “That’s way too crude, That’s a very unromantic view”.

In the evening light on the pavement, I sat with my glass of red wine
I heard many conversations, that I wished were part of mine
I’m in a boat on the ocean, I guess that’s how I stay afloat
But the ocean calls me seductively, “dive in, its time to leave the boat”.

Most of the time, I feel alright
Most of the time, I keep myself in the light
I don’t think about tomorrow, I enjoy today
I don’t think about yesterday, and how it all passed away
I face my fears, I don’t let them do me wrong
I think I’ve turned the corner, I’ve forgotten her now she’s gone
Most of the time

Most of the time, I say the right thing
Most of the time, I can keep secrets in
I don’t drink too much, I don’t get too loud
I’m kind, I smile and I’m fun to be around
I accept there are no answers, even after all I’ve read
I forget how she left and all the hurtful things she said
Most of the time

Most of the time, I’m loyal and true
Most of the time, I’m open to something new
I’m sensitive to promises, that mustn’t be broken
I don’t keep quiet, when I should’ve spoken
No, I’m a clear light, in the turbulent storm
And when it was cold, I kept her warm
Most of the time

Most of the time
I’m moving too fast
To remember all the victories
That I thought would last
Most of the time
I’ve forgotten her
I’ve learned how to survive
I’ve learned how to endure

Most of the time, I don’t try to hide
Most of the time, I can handle my feelings inside
I don’t cheat on myself, with shallow distractions
I’m not a prisoner of options, on the path to my actions
I don’t compromise, I don’t pretend
I don’t care if I never see her again
Most of the time

 

This poem is inspired by Most of The Time by the great Bob Dylan from the Album Oh Mercy. It is also used in a scene from the film High Fidelity with John Cusack, Iben Hjejle et al.