Thus I Wrote

I thought of you today
Of what you do and say
Of what I sow and reap
Of how your words cut deep
But I will hide the signs
Below the waterline

I think my truth is real
By what I see and feel
But your trust in me
Needed consistency
So love was drowned over time
Below the waterline

I remember my priest tell
Of heaven and of hell
Of learning to go without
Of not letting the animal out
Of the fine chains that bind
Below the waterline

I want to appeal
To seal a new deal
To find a hand to hold
To let a new love unfold
To give more of what’s mine
Below the waterline

I caught a butterfly
In the summer sun
The trust was high
That no hurt be done
But now there’s no butterfly
In the winter sun
The trust has died
And the damage done

The wheels of life
Do grind and turn
Fuelled by fires
That heat and burn
But things get crushed
And things get lost
And fragile beauty pushed
To pay the cost

Once we heard the dawn sing in tune
We swam the sun-drenched sea in June
Chased laughing children in the park
And caressed by candlelight in the dark

Our pasts pulled
Our fractures wide
Our hearts hardened
Over the hurt inside
But now we’re adrift
A dark ocean swell
And loved features shift
Into a distance shell

Once we heard the dawn sing in tune
We swam the sun-drenched sea in June
Chased laughing children in the park
And caressed by candlelight in the dark

Her red ruby lips
Her hair a lustrous brown
The way she moved her hips
Messed my head around
I forgot all the rules
When I swam in her swimming pool

On a night of stars
We looked in our eyes
We kissed and saw far
Beyond common lies
We were hot & the night was cool
When I swam in her swimming pool

I wanted more
She did not resist
She began to moan
And strain and twist
Her body tingled to my rule
When I swam in her swimming pool

Our quest was treasure
We duelled without swords
We valued without measure
We spoke without words
The look in her face was the fuel
When I swam in her swimming pool

It rained & it poured
I was washed anew
We played sacred chords
Heard only by a few.
It was mother nature’s school
When I swam in her swimming pool

In the aftermath sure
Her body moonlight shone
Her face majestic pure
And peace had silently come
A loving tenderness ensued
When I swam in her swimming pool

Her red ruby lips
Her hair a lustrous brown
The way she moved her hips
Messed my head around
I forgot all the rules
When I swam in her swimming pool

The lines are all drawn
And positions taken
It’s arguments at dawn
And we are forsaken
I think about giving and taking
And how she takes too much
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Will our differences exchange
For the complement we seek?
I know love requires change
And turning the other cheek
Will she do some kneeling?
And her share of the rough?
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Why do we seek control?
Is it a security thing?
We could destroy the whole
Of what we’re trying to win
A lost battle has me reeling
Did I shoot the wrong stuff?
But I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

So give of your love
And it shall be given to you
It’s more blessed to give
Than to receive it too
Such a love sounds healing
And ours a childish bluff
I’ve got a treacherous feeling
That I ain’t loved her enough

Picture: Bella by Lucien Freud

I won’t be a hurler on the ditch
The only truth is on the pitch
The future is not mine
And the past is just a sign..
While I am plugged in
I am connected
I am alive

My brain is of medium size
It only fits so much inside
So I’ll fill it to the brim
Of only love and good things..
While I am plugged in
I am connected
I am alive

My happiness is when I do
What I was designed to do
Living in the moment
Giving all in the moment..
While I am plugged in
I am connected
I am alive

We are human and it’s our fate
To compete and procreate
To add a bit more
To those gone before..
While we are plugged in
We are connected
We are alive

Sleep, it would not come
In our yesterday’s room
I rocked myself ’till numb
To dispel my growing gloom
I thought, we are older now
But her beauty it still lingers
This relationship is slipping
Slipping through my fingers

Has she moved on
Past the point of no return?
I feel discarded and lonely
Frozen, as her memory burns
Phantom suitors hurt me
With the flowers they bring her
This relationship is slipping
Slipping through my fingers

She’s riding a pale horse
Of resentment and emotion
She’s deaf to my words
Impervious to my devotion
I wish I could hear her sigh again
As I make her nerve ends tingle
This relationship is slipping
Slipping through my fingers

I let our problems be
I was hoping for the second act
But she would not forgive me
And her love began to crack
Her heart it hardened
From the love she said I didn’t bring her
This relationship is slipping
Slipping through my fingers

I laid it on a table
With candles for show
With incense and quiet
With flowers in a row
I fashioned and sculpted
So it shone like new
I placed it proudly
And I offered it to you

We are pieces in a puzzle
Parts in a machine
We are blind to our future
Ignorant to what it means
So I knelt and conversed
And I asked for a sign
“Let your will be done,
Let your path be mine”

But you are the opium
Of the seeking masses
Taken in pain and darkness
In the hope that sorrow passes
Giving form and purpose
To a dark formless void
Collecting drops of humanity
Into a flowing tide

In our secular world
You are set free
Now we use therapy
And we use CCTV
We have burnished a new opium
To collect our minds
But in the darkness we still whisper
“Father, please be kind”

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her kiss
She harbours resentment
She feels there’s so much I’ve missed
She harbours resentment
I try to reach her but she resists

It started so well
How could we foretell
We made plans & lists
But they didn’t include this
Our differences in time
Became a chasm wide
What’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her embrace
She harbours resentment
I see the wariness in her face
She harbours resentment
She needed more love and she needed more grace

I remember her touch
When she loved me so much
We talked every night
And our dreams shone so bright
Now there’s silence and hurt
Forgotten value and worth
What’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness

She harbours resentment
I feel it as it stifles her love
She harbours resentment
Now whatever I do its never enough
She harbours resentment
I’m between the rock below and the hard place above

Her happiness
Was always my quest
And it’s a haunted mess
That I’ve failed that test
I wish our kingdom
Had more time to come
But what’s mine to confess
I now ask forgiveness

 

I raised my voice, when I should have not
I looked at you, while thinking wrong thoughts
I drank too much, and disguised by mirth
Said careless words, and you, got hurt

After we argue, I often shut you out
I waited to calm down, I wouldn’t trust my mouth
I made a silence & I wouldn’t let it go
I made you lonely, and I wish, it wasn’t so.

I spend too much time, living inside my head
It makes me negative, and aloof, you said
I need more heart, and I need more fun
I feed the elephant, when I, should make it run

My emotions they are dark, too dark to read
They swirl, they rise up, when it’s calmness I need
They lash out when things don’t go my way
My wise counsel, is drowned, inside my head.

I’ve seen a love, as warm as the sun
It touched the heart and the soul of everyone
A graceful self that was clear to its shine
An inspiration, I keep always, in my mind

I know I’m blind so I can’t see
That I’m a prisoner so I’m not free
I know a change now must surely come
That if I conquer, myself, I will be done

Can we fix this?
Or is it too late?
Is your heart too wounded
Behind your locked gate?
I’ve tried in my way
To open my heart to you
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I have walked in your shoes
To study your fears
I’ve learned from wise men
And my mistakes down the years
To sing together
I’ve often played to your tune
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

Now I have many colours
Not just black or white
Sometimes I’ve strayed into the dark
But I strive for the light
I would forgive you
A mistake or two
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

The seeds that were sown
So they shaped our hearts
And in that tangle that was grown
So it shaped our start
I would not ask you
For more than you could do
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?

I was more of the head
And you of the heart
We should be stronger together
Than we are apart
I would accept
You have a different view
Will you do unto me
As you would have me do unto you?